Welcome To The Internet
[00:01.06] Welcome to the internet
[00:02.79] Have a look around
[00:04.85] Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
[00:08.06] We've got mountains of content
[00:10.04] Some better, some worse
[00:12.04] If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first
[00:16.07] Welcome to the internet
[00:18.29] Come and take a seat
[00:19.80] Would you like to see the news
[00:21.54] Or any famous women's feet
[00:23.55] There's no need to panic
[00:25.79] This isn't a test [*laughs*]
[00:28.04] Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
[00:31.30] Welcome to the internet
[00:33.55] What would you prefer:
[00:35.30] Would you like to fight for civil rights
[00:37.30] Or tweet a racial slur
[00:39.31] Be happy
[00:40.29] Be horny
[00:41.05] Be bursting with rage
[00:43.29] We got a million different ways to engage
[00:47.05] Welcome to the internet
[00:48.80] Put your cares aside
[00:50.55] Here's a tip for straining pasta
[00:52.30] Here's a nine-year-old who died
[00:54.30] We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports
[00:57.83] And a bunch of colored pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other! Welcome to the internet!
[01:03.05] Hold on to your socks
[01:04.79] 'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock
[01:07.79] They are grainy and off-putting
[01:09.54] He just sent you more
[01:11.30] Don't act surprised
[01:12.55] You know you like it, you whore
[01:14.55] See a man beheaded
[01:15.55] Get offended, see a shrink
[01:17.05] Show us pictures of your children
[01:18.30] Tell us every thought you think
[01:19.82] Start a rumor, buy a broom
[01:21.04] Or send a death threat to a boomer
[01:22.55] Or DM a girl and groom her
[01:24.04] Do a Zoom or find a tumor
[01:25.30] And here's a healthy breakfast option
[01:27.55] You should kill your mom
[01:28.80] Here's why women never fuck you
[01:30.04] Here's how you can build a bomb
[01:31.80] Which Power Ranger are you?
[01:33.04] Take this quirky quiz
[01:34.54] Obama sent the immigrants
[01:36.05] To vaccinate your kids
[01:38.79] Could I interest you in everything
[01:40.29] All of the time?
[01:42.06] A little bit of everything
[01:43.30] All of the time
[01:45.04] Apathy's a tragedy
[01:46.33] And boredom is a crime
[01:48.04] Anything and everything
[01:49.46] All of the time
[01:50.55] Could I interest you in everything
[01:52.05] All of the time?
[01:53.54] A little bit of everything
[01:55.04] All of the time
[01:56.29] Apathy's a tragedy
[01:57.79] And boredom is a crime
[01:59.30] Anything and everything
[02:00.44] All of the time
[02:12.20] You know, it wasn't always like this
[02:19.19] Not very long ago
[02:22.96] Just before your time
[02:26.97] Right before the towers fell
[02:30.70] Circa '99
[02:33.94] This was catalogues
[02:36.44] Travel blogs
[02:38.70] A chat room or two
[02:41.69] We set our sights and spent our nights
[02:45.70] Waiting
[02:48.71] For you
[02:49.70] You
[02:53.12] Insatiable you
[02:56.62] Mommy let you use her iPad
[03:00.85] You were barely two
[03:04.10] And it did all the things
[03:07.35] We designed it to do
[03:12.10] Now look at you
[03:14.10] Oh
[03:16.35] Look at you
[03:17.88] You, you
[03:23.10] Unstoppable, watchable
[03:27.36] Your time is now
[03:29.35] Your inside's out
[03:31.38] Honey, how you grew
[03:34.60] And if we stick together
[03:38.12] Who knows what we'll do
[03:42.10] It was always the plan
[03:45.60] To put the world in your hand
[04:01.58] Could I interest you in everything
[04:04.58] All of the time
[04:07.86] A bit of everything
[04:09.61] All of the time
[04:12.36] Apathy's a tragedy
[04:14.60] And boredom is a crime
[04:17.61] Anything and everything
[04:19.63] All of the time
[04:21.11] Could I interest you in everything
[04:22.61] All of the time
[04:24.11] A little bit of everything
[04:25.36] All of the time
[04:26.86] Apathy's a tragedy
[04:28.11] And boredom is a crime
[04:29.86] Anything and everything
[04:31.11] And anything and everything
[04:32.61] And anything and everything
[04:33.85] And all of the time
