Welcome to the Internet
[00:00.27] Welcome to the internet
[00:02.02] Have a look around
[00:03.79] Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
[00:07.53] We've got mountains of content
[00:09.26] Some better, some worse
[00:11.03] If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first
[00:15.28] Welcome to the internet
[00:17.31] Come and take a seat
[00:18.78] Would you like to see the news
[00:20.50] Or any famous women's feet
[00:22.77] There's no need to panic
[00:24.52] This isn't a test, haha
[00:27.26] Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
[00:30.77] Welcome to the internet
[00:32.36] What would you prefer
[00:34.27] Would you like to fight for civil rights
[00:36.27] Or tweet a racial slur
[00:38.00] Be happy
[00:39.02] Be horny
[00:40.02] Be bursting with rage
[00:42.76] We got a million different ways to engage
[00:46.02] Welcome to the internet
[00:47.75] Put your cares aside
[00:49.52] Here's a tip for straining pasta
[00:51.01] Here's a nine-year-old who died
[00:53.27] We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports
[00:57.03] And a bunch of colored pencil drawings
[00:59.04] Of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other!
[01:01.32] Welcome to the internet!
[01:02.32] Hold on to your socks
[01:03.58] 'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock
[01:07.05] They are grainy and off-putting
[01:08.29] He just sent you more
[01:10.55] Don't act surprised, you know you like it, you whore
[01:13.32] See a man beheaded
[01:15.05] Get offended, see a shrink
[01:16.09] Show us pictures of your children
[01:17.34] Tell us every thought you think
[01:19.09] Start a rumor, buy a broom
[01:20.10] Or send a death threat to a boomer
[01:21.60] Or DM a girl and groom her
[01:23.10] Do a Zoom or find a tumor
[01:24.82] And here's a healthy breakfast option
[01:26.60] You should kill your mom
[01:27.84] Here's why women never fuck you
[01:29.09] Here's how you can build a bomb
[01:30.35] Which Power Ranger are you?
[01:31.57] Take this quirky quiz
[01:33.34] Obama sent the immigrants
[01:34.89] To vaccinate your kids
[01:38.15] Could I interest you in everything
[01:39.38] All of the time?
[01:40.90] A little bit of everything
[01:42.38] All of the time
[01:43.89] Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
[01:46.65] Anything and everything
[01:47.90] All of the time
[01:49.63] Could I interest you in everything
[01:51.14] All of the time?
[01:52.63] A little bit of everything
[01:53.90] All of the time
[01:55.62] Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
[01:58.40] Anything and everything
[01:59.65] All of the time
[02:11.41] You know, it wasn't always like this
[02:18.42] Not very long ago
[02:22.41] Just before your time
[02:25.92] Right before the towers fell
[02:29.66] Circa '99
[02:32.90] This was catalogues
[02:35.16] Travel blogs
[02:37.66] A chat room or two
[02:41.15] We set our sights and spent our nights
[02:45.16] Waiting
[02:48.17] For you
[02:50.71] You
[02:51.72] Insatiable you
[02:55.71] Mommy let you use her iPad
[02:59.96] You were barely two
[03:03.19] And it did all the things we designed it to do
[03:11.21] Now look at you
[03:13.46] Oh, look at you
[03:16.95] You, you
[03:22.19] Unstoppable, watchable
[03:26.44] Your time is now
[03:28.20] Your inside's out
[03:30.22] Honey, how you grew
[03:33.46] And if we stick together
[03:37.20] Who knows what we'll do
[03:41.21] It was always the plan
[03:44.70] To put the world in your hand
[03:51.21] Hah hahahaha...
[04:00.74] Could I interest you in everything
[04:03.49] All of the time
[04:06.74] A bit of everything
[04:08.49] All of the time
[04:11.22] Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
[04:16.50] Anything and everything
[04:18.48] All of the time
[04:19.98] Could I interest you in everything
[04:21.50] All of the time
[04:22.99] A little bit of everything
[04:24.50] All of the time
[04:25.49] Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
[04:28.49] Anything and everything
[04:29.74] And anything and everything
[04:31.23] And anything and everything
[04:32.74] And all of the time
