The real slim shady
[00:02.88] May I have your attention, please?
[00:05.62] May I have your attention, please?
[00:08.12] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:11.62] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:16.37] We're gonna have a problem here...
[00:17.62] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
[00:20.12] Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
[00:22.87] And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
[00:24.62] They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Agh!)
[00:27.12] It's the return of the "Oh, wait, no way, you're kidding
[00:29.62] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
[00:32.12] And Dr. Dre said… nothing, you idiots!
[00:34.37] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Ha ha!)
[00:36.62] Feminist women love Eminem
[00:38.12] "Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
[00:40.38] Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
[00:42.87] Flippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though"
[00:45.62] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
[00:47.87] But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
[00:50.37] Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
[00:52.62] But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
[00:54.87] "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
[00:57.13] And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
[00:59.37] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
[01:01.62] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
[01:03.87] Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is
[01:05.62] By the time they hit fourth grade
[01:06.87] They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
[01:08.87] We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
[01:11.37] Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[01:13.37] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
[01:15.62] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[01:18.13] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
[01:20.12] Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes—
[01:22.38] I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[01:24.62] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:26.87] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:29.13] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:31.62] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[01:33.63] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:35.88] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:38.38] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:40.63] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (Nope)
[01:43.37] Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
[01:45.38] You think I give a damn about a GRAMMY?
[01:47.12] Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
[01:49.87] "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
[01:51.87] Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
[01:54.38] So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
[01:56.62] Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
[01:58.87] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
[02:01.12] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
[02:03.62] Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
[02:05.87] "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
[02:08.12] I should download her audio on MP3
[02:10.37] And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Agh!)
[02:13.37] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
[02:14.62] All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
[02:17.87] And there's a million of us just like me
[02:19.37] Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
[02:21.62] Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
[02:24.12] And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
[02:26.62] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[02:28.87] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:31.12] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:33.62] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:35.87] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[02:37.87] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:40.12] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:42.62] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:44.88] I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you
[02:47.37] Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
[02:49.63] The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
[02:52.12] And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
[02:54.87] I just get on the mic and spit it
[02:56.37] And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
[02:58.62] Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
[03:00.63] Then you wonder: "How can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
[03:03.62] It's funny, 'cause at the rate, I'm going, when I'm thirty
[03:05.63] I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
[03:08.12] Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
[03:10.37] And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
[03:12.63] And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
[03:14.87] He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
[03:17.38] Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!"
[03:20.12] With his windows down and his system up
[03:22.12] So will the real Shady please stand up
[03:23.87] And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
[03:26.38] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
[03:28.63] And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[03:31.13] I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[03:33.12] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:35.37] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:37.88] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:40.12] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[03:42.13] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:44.38] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:47.13] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:49.37] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[03:51.37] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:53.87] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:56.12] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:58.37] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[04:00.62] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[04:02.87] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[04:05.37] Please stand up, please stand up?
[04:08.37] Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
[04:13.87] Fuck it, let's all stand up!
