Got No Beard
[00:01.12] I once met a man who said he was a fan
[00:03.61] He wanted to sing in my shanty band
[00:05.62] But the bottom of his face looked weird (SO WEIRD!)
[00:07.62] There was skin on his chin that I loathed and feared
[00:09.61] From his crown to ear he was most sincere
[00:11.37] But you can't sing shanties if you got no beard!
[00:13.63] Got no beard, you've got no beard!
[00:15.63] You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard!
[00:17.38] Got no beard, you've got no beard!
[00:19.38] You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard!
[00:21.88] I once met a girl who heard sea songs
[00:24.13] She came to the show and she sung along
[00:26.14] But her timing with the shout was slow (SO SLOW!)
[00:28.13] She was graced with a face like the morning glow
[00:30.13] But a holler was a blow from the very front row said:
[00:32.13] You can't sing shanties if you can't shout: 'HO'!
[00:34.39] Can't shout 'ho!', can't shout 'ho!'
[00:36.14] You can't sing shanties if you can't shout: 'ho'!
[00:38.14] Can't shout 'ho!', can't shout 'ho!'
[00:39.89] You can't sing shanties if you can't shout: 'ho'!
[00:41.90] And you've got no beard!
[00:43.65] I once met a guy on a weird machine
[00:45.65] Had wheels and a bell, no mast to be seen
[00:47.65] He was shouting from a pad of notes (NO NOTES!)
[00:49.91] And the wheels got caught on his overcoat
[00:51.65] And he fell from the pier clawing at his throat
[00:53.66] So: you can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat
[00:55.92] Don't own a boat, you don't own a boat!
[00:57.66] You can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat
[00:59.66] Don't own a boat, you don't own a boat!
[01:01.67] You can't sing shanties if you don't own a boat
[01:03.42] And you can't shout: 'ho!', and you've got no beard!
[01:06.18] I once met a bloke on a tavern floor
[01:08.43] He'd had ten beers but I had ten more
[01:10.44] And his piggy little face was pink, (SO PINK!)
[01:12.43] He tried to shout the words but t'were all out of sync
[01:14.19] With a voice so bad it'll make you think that:
[01:16.45] You can't sing shanties if you can't hold your drink
[01:18.46] Can't hold your drink, you can't hold a drink
[01:20.46] You can't sing shanties if you can't hold your drink
[01:22.46] You can't hold a drink you can't hold a drink
[01:24.22] You can't sing shanties if you can't hold your drink
[01:25.98] And you don't own a boat, and you can't shout: 'ho!'
[01:28.22] And you've got no beard!
[01:29.98] I once met a sailor all big and broad
[01:31.98] With an eye-patch, parrot, and a long curved sword
[01:33.99] Had a chest like a powder keg (BIG CHEST)
[01:36.23] But he had both shoes and he smelled like eggs
[01:37.98] I expect he would look better with a wooden peg
[01:39.98] 'cause you can't sing shanties if you got two legs
[01:42.24] Got two legs, you've got two legs
[01:43.99] You can't sing shanties if you've got two legs
[01:45.99] Got two legs, you've got two legs
[01:47.99] You can't sing shanties if you've got two legs
[01:49.74] And you can't hold your drink, and you don't own a boat
[01:51.74] And you can't shout 'ho!', and you've got no beard!
[01:54.75] Well: Anna's got no beard
[01:57.25] And Dave: he has a bike
[01:59.50] Robbie's father-in-law has boats but won't sing on the mic
[02:03.26] And JD can't shout HO because his wife takes much offense
[02:07.51] And Andy's got two beautiful hairy legs
[02:13.07] But there's no reason good enough not to join us
[02:16.59] So sing along with the very last chorus!
[02:25.10] TWO-THREE-FOUR
[02:26.60] Got no beard, you've got no beard!
[02:28.36] You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard!
[02:30.35] Got no beard, you've got no beard!
[02:32.61] You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard!
[02:34.35] Got no beard, you've got no beard!
[02:36.36] You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard!
[02:38.37] Got no beard, you've got no beard!
[02:40.37] You can't sing shanties if you've got no beard
[02:42.12] And you've got two legs, and you can't hold your drink
[02:43.87] And you don't own a boat, and you can't shout 'ho!'
[02:45.88] And you've got no beard!
