Welcome to the Internet
[00:00.91] Welcome to the internet
[00:02.17] Have a look around
[00:03.68] Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
[00:07.44] We've got mountains of content
[00:09.45] Some better, some worse
[00:11.46] If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first
[00:13.97] Welcome to the internet
[00:17.48] Come and take a seat
[00:18.99] Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?
[00:22.50] There's no need to panic
[00:24.75] This isn't a test, haha
[00:27.51] Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
[00:30.03] Welcome to the internet
[00:32.78] What would you prefer?
[00:34.54] Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur?
[00:38.80] Be happy
[00:39.81] Be horny
[00:40.81] Be bursting with rage
[00:42.57] We got a million different ways to engage
[00:46.33] Welcome to the internet
[00:48.09] Put your cares aside
[00:50.10] Here's a tip for straining pasta
[00:51.60] Here's a nine-year-old who died
[00:53.61] We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports
[00:57.12] And a bunch of colored pencil drawings
[00:59.38] Of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other
[01:01.63] Welcome to the internet
[01:03.13] Hold on to your socks
[01:04.90] 'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock
[01:07.40] They are grainy and off-putting
[01:08.91] He just sent you more
[01:10.67] Don't act surprised, you know you like it, you whore
[01:13.68] See a man beheaded
[01:15.44] Get offended, see a shrink
[01:16.44] Show us pictures of your children
[01:17.70] Tell us every thought you think
[01:19.20] Start a rumor, buy a broom
[01:20.45] Or send a death threat to a boomer
[01:21.95] Or DM a girl and groom her
[01:23.46] Do a Zoom or find a tumor in your
[01:24.47] Here's a healthy breakfast option
[01:26.48] You should kill your mom
[01:27.98] Here's why women never fuck you
[01:29.74] Here's how you can build a bomb
[01:31.74] Which Power Ranger are you?
[01:32.49] Take this quirky quiz
[01:34.00] Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids
[01:36.01] Could I interest you in everything?
[01:39.76] All of the time?
[01:41.02] A little bit of everything
[01:42.77] All of the time
[01:44.03] Apathy's a tragedy
[01:45.54] And boredom is a crime
[01:47.29] Anything and everything
[01:48.55] All of the time
[01:50.05] Could I interest you in everything?
[01:51.55] All of the time?
[01:52.81] A little bit of everything
[01:54.31] All of the time
[01:55.82] Apathy's a tragedy
[01:57.32] And boredom is a crime
[01:58.58] Anything and everything
[02:00.33] All of the time
[02:12.38] You know, it wasn't always like this
[02:18.91] Not very long ago
[02:23.67] Just before your time
[02:28.44] Right before the towers fell, circa '99
[02:33.47] This was catalogs
[02:35.98] Travel blogs
[02:38.75] A chat room or two
[02:41.75] We set our sights and spent our nights
[02:45.76] Waiting
[02:48.52] For you, you, insatiable you
[02:56.29] Mommy let you use her iPad
[03:01.31] You were barely two
[03:04.06] And it did all the things
[03:07.33] We designed it to do
[03:11.85] Now look at you, oh
[03:15.86] Look at you, you, you
[03:22.87] Unstoppable, watchable
[03:27.14] Your time is now
[03:28.91] Your inside's out
[03:31.92] Honey, how you grew
[03:34.92] And if we stick together
[03:38.45] Who knows what we'll do
[03:41.45] It was always the plan
[03:45.46] To put the world in your hand
[03:51.40] Hahaha
[03:59.18] Could I interest you in everything?
[04:04.19] All of the time
[04:06.45] A bit of everything
[04:08.96] All of the time
[04:11.72] Apathy's a tragedy
[04:13.97] And boredom is a crime
[04:17.49] Anything and everything
[04:19.25] All of the time
[04:20.51] Could I interest you in everything?
[04:22.01] All of the time
[04:23.52] A little bit of everything
[04:24.77] All of the time
[04:26.02] Apathy's a tragedy
[04:27.54] And boredom is a crime
[04:28.78] Anything and everything
[04:30.29] And anything and everything
[04:31.55] And anything and everything
[04:33.05] And all of the time
