H.Y.C.Y.B.H?

[00:04.66] When my roommate comes into the room looking for his car keys

[00:08.93] I don't say it yet

[00:12.38] And when he gets me off the couch to check underneath the couch cushions

[00:16.91] I don't say it yet, no

[00:20.89] And then when he says out loud "I wonder where my car keys are"

[00:23.80] I still don't say it (I still don't say it yet)

[00:28.05] But then he asks me "Do you know where my car keys are?"

[00:32.34] I look at him in his face, and I say

[00:37.12] "Have you checked your butthole?"

[00:38.98] Ski-dap, ba-dap, butthole

[00:41.90] I have not seen your keys, but since you're askin' me

[00:44.82] You better check up that butthole

[00:46.15] Of course I'm not serious

[00:47.74] I don't think it's up inside your big brown business

[00:50.13] But a funny thing to say to someone who's lost their shit and is stressed out visibly

[00:54.42] When I see the best man start to sweat

[00:58.67] I don't say it yet (Ski-dap, ba-dap)

[01:02.91] When I see that little ring bearer cunt getting yelled at by his mum

[01:06.90] Oh, I still don't say it

[01:10.62] When I see the groom asking the vicar if they can wait just another fifteen minutes

[01:15.13] I do not say it (Ski-bap, ba-da)

[01:18.32] And when the father of the bride starts organizing an ad-hoc emu bob of the courtyard area

[01:23.64] I want to, but I do not say it

[01:26.82] It's the eleventh hour with three hundred congregates under God's roof

[01:30.54] The vicar approaches the mic, and suddenly, all of the chatter goes mute

[01:34.26] He says that they've misplaced the rings

[01:36.12] Could anyone possibly know where they are?

[01:37.98] I know it's my time, and all heads turn as I stand and say, "Vicar!"

[01:43.57] "Have you checked your butthole?"

[01:45.18] Ski-dap, ba-dap, butthole

[01:47.85] "I have not seen your ring, but have you checked your ring?"

[01:50.77] And by "ring, " I mean butthole

[01:52.10] Love is patient; love is kind

[01:53.96] But if you ask me where you can find

[01:56.09] Literally anything you've lost before

[01:57.95] I'm gonna suggest that it's up your butthole

[02:00.33] "Where's my phone?" "Is it up your butthole?"

[02:01.93] "I lost my loan." "Have you checked up your b-hole?"

[02:04.05] "I'm losing my patience." "Check your anus"

[02:05.91] "Where is your class?" "I think it's stuck up your ass"

[02:08.04] "I just lost my grandma"

[02:09.63] "Oh my god, I'm so sorry"

[02:10.70] Are you capable of not saying she's up my asshole?

[02:12.56] Of course, my condolences

[02:13.90] I'm not looking for a silly joke right now

[02:15.76] Yeah, yeah... what are you looking for?

[02:19.48] Honestly, just like, a shoulder to cr—

[02:22.13] Have you checked your butthole?

[02:23.99] Ski-dap, ba-dap, butthole

[02:26.38] Maybe you'll find your dead grandma up there, too

[02:29.32] Oh, I fuckin' got you, butthole

[02:31.98] My family hate me

[02:33.31] This might be the reason that I've got no close friends

[02:37.02] Fuckin' worth it, baby