The Real Slim Shady
[00:01.02] May I have your attention please?
[00:04.47] May I have your attention please?
[00:07.12] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:10.84] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:15.37] We're gonna have a problem here
[00:17.76] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
[00:19.89] Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
[00:22.54] And started whooping her ass worse than before
[00:24.67] They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture (Ah!)
[00:26.53] It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
[00:29.45] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
[00:31.58] And Dr. Dre said... nothing, you idiots!
[00:34.50] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
[00:36.62] Feminist women love Eminem
[00:39.29] "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
[00:40.87] Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
[00:43.00] Flipping the you-know-who." "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
[00:45.38] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
[00:47.25] But no worse, than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
[00:49.90] Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
[00:52.82] But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
[00:54.68] "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
[00:56.81] And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
[00:58.94] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
[01:01.06] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
[01:03.47] Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
[01:06.12] By the time they hit fourth grade
[01:07.47] They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
[01:08.80] "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
[01:10.39] Who cut other people open like cantaloupes [*slurp*]
[01:13.04] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
[01:15.44] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[01:17.56] [*ewww!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
[01:19.96] Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[01:22.08] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:24.47] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:26.33] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:28.18] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:31.11] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:33.51] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:35.89] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:38.01] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:40.15] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
[01:42.54] Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
[01:45.20] You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
[01:46.53] Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
[01:49.74] "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
[01:51.86] Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
[01:54.25] So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
[01:56.11] Yo Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
[01:58.50] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
[02:00.35] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
[02:03.02] Little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
[02:05.19] "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
[02:07.57] I should download her audio on MP3
[02:09.97] And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
[02:12.36] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
[02:15.55] So I have been sent here to destroy you
[02:17.67] And there's a million of us just like me
[02:19.79] Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
[02:21.65] Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
[02:24.04] It just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[02:26.43] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:28.56] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:30.69] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:33.35] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:35.46] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:37.86] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:39.99] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:42.37] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:44.50] I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only giving you
[02:47.42] Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
[02:49.55] The only difference is I got the balls to say it
[02:52.20] In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
[02:54.07] I just get on the mic and spit it
[02:56.45] And whether you like to admit it [*err*] I just shit it
[02:58.57] Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
[03:00.97] Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums
[03:03.09] It's funny; 'cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
[03:05.48] I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
[03:07.60] Pinching nurses asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
[03:10.01] And I'm jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
[03:11.85] And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
[03:14.52] He could be working at Burger King, spitting on your onion rings
[03:16.90] [*hach*] Or in the parking lot, circling
[03:19.85] Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
[03:21.18] With his windows down and his system up
[03:21.98] So, will the real Shady please stand up?
[03:23.84] And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
[03:25.99] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
[03:28.39] And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[03:30.78] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:33.70] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:35.30] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:39.01] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:39.81] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:42.20] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:44.59] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:46.72] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:49.11] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:51.77] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:53.62] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:56.82] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:58.67] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[04:01.87] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[04:02.67] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[04:05.33] Please stand up, please stand up?
[04:06.65] Ha ha
[04:09.31] Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
[04:11.96] Fuck it, let's all stand up
