Eminem - The Real Slim Shady (Official Video - Dirty Version)

[00:03.73] May I have your attention, please?

[00:07.27] May I have your attention, please?

[00:09.53] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

[00:13.30] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

[00:18.13] We're gonna have a problem here

[00:19.40] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before

[00:21.17] Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door

[00:23.94] And started whoopin' her ass worse than before

[00:25.95] They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (ah)

[00:28.20] It's the return of the, oh wait, no way, you're kidding

[00:30.69] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he

[00:32.95] And Dr. Dre said, nothing you idiots

[00:35.79] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)

[00:38.05] Feminist women love Eminem

[00:39.32] Chicka-chicka-chicka Slim Shady, I'm sick of him

[00:41.62] Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what

[00:44.13] Flippin' the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though

[00:46.69] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose

[00:49.21] But no worse, than what's goin' on in your parents bedrooms

[00:51.50] Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't

[00:54.51] But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose

[00:56.27] My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips

[00:58.28] And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss

[01:00.54] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids

[01:02.81] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is

[01:05.04] Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is

[01:07.33] By the time they hit fourth grade

[01:08.33] They got the Discovery Channel don't they

[01:10.13] We ain't nothin' but mammals

[01:11.39] Well, some of us are cannibals

[01:12.64] Who cut other people open like cantaloupes

[01:14.41] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes

[01:16.69] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope

[01:18.95] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

[01:21.02] Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[01:23.53] I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

[01:25.55] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

[01:27.82] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

[01:30.38] Please stand up, please stand up

[01:32.65] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

[01:34.67] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

[01:36.94] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

[01:39.74] Please stand up, please stand up

[01:42.00] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records

[01:44.26] Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too

[01:46.53] You think I give a damn about a Grammy

[01:48.31] Half of you critics can't even stomach me

[01:50.10] Let alone stand me

[01:51.38] But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird

[01:53.13] Why, so you guys can just lie to get me here

[01:55.46] So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears

[01:57.50] Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs

[02:00.03] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst

[02:02.33] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first

[02:04.35] Little bitch put me on blast on MTV

[02:06.64] Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hehe

[02:09.42] I should download her audio on mp3

[02:11.69] And show the whole world, how you gave Eminem VD (Ahh)

[02:14.22] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me

[02:16.76] So I have been sent here to destroy you

[02:19.03] And there's a million of us just like me

[02:20.55] Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me

[02:22.80] Who dress like me, walk talk and act like me

[02:25.36] And just might be, the next best thing, but not quite me

[02:27.62] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

[02:29.85] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

[02:32.15] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

[02:34.68] Please stand up, please stand up

[02:36.69] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

[02:39.00] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

[02:41.27] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

[02:44.04] Please stand up, please stand up

[02:46.06] I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you

[02:48.60] Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room

[02:50.87] The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all

[02:53.39] And I don't gotta be false or sugar-coat it at all

[02:57.14] I just get on the mic and spit it

[02:57.91] And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it

[02:59.66] Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can

[03:01.96] Then you wonder, how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?

[03:04.19] It's funny 'cause at the rate I'm goin' when I'm thirty

[03:06.96] I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting

[03:09.01] Pinchin' nurses asses while I'm jackin' off with Jergens

[03:11.53] And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin'

[03:13.58] In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin'

[03:16.11] He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings

[03:18.37] Or in the parkin' lot circling, screamin' I don't give a fuck

[03:21.40] With his windows down and his system up

[03:23.42] So will the real Shady, please stand up

[03:25.17] And put one of those fingers, on each hand up

[03:27.46] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

[03:29.76] And one more time loud as you can, how does it go?

[03:32.53] I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

[03:34.28] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

[03:36.54] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

[03:39.04] Please stand up, please stand up

[03:41.09] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

[03:43.39] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

[03:45.68] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

[03:48.16] Please stand up, please stand up

[03:50.48] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

[03:52.52] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

[03:54.81] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

[03:57.35] Please stand up, please stand up

[03:59.62] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

[04:02.16] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating

[04:03.94] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up

[04:06.46] Please stand up, please stand up

[04:10.24] Haha, guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us

[04:15.55] Fuck it, let's all stand up