Eminem - The Real Slim Shady
[00:02.56] May I have your attention, please?
[00:05.74] May I have your attention, please?
[00:08.40] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:11.59] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:16.37] We're gonna have a problem here?
[00:17.70] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
[00:19.82] Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
[00:23.01] And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
[00:24.60] They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (ah!)
[00:26.99] It's the return of the-, oh, wait, no way, you're kidding
[00:29.92] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?
[00:31.51] And Dr. Dre said-, nothing you idiots
[00:34.43] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)
[00:36.56] Feminist women love Eminem
[00:38.15] Chicka-chicka-chicka Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
[00:40.54] Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
[00:42.93] Flippin' the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though
[00:45.59] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
[00:47.98] But no worse, than what's goin' on in your parents bedrooms
[00:50.10] Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
[00:53.02] But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
[00:54.88] My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
[00:57.01] And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
[00:59.13] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
[01:01.53] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
[01:03.65] Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is
[01:05.77] By the time they hit fourth grade
[01:06.84] They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
[01:08.96] We ain't nothin' but mammals
[01:10.29] Well, some of us are cannibals
[01:11.35] Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[01:13.48] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
[01:15.60] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[01:18.26] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
[01:20.12] Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes...
[01:22.51] I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[01:24.63] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating
[01:27.03] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up?
[01:29.15] Please stand up, please stand up
[01:31.27] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[01:34.20] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating
[01:36.06] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up?
[01:38.45] Please stand up, please stand up
[01:40.31] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
[01:42.96] Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
[01:45.35] You think I give a damn about a Grammy
[01:46.95] Half of you critics can't even stomach me
[01:49.07] Let alone stand me
[01:50.67] But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?
[01:51.99] Why, so you guys can just lie to get me here
[01:54.39] So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
[01:56.77] Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
[01:59.17] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
[02:01.02] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
[02:03.68] Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
[02:05.81] Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hehe!
[02:08.20] I should download her audio on mp3
[02:10.32] And show the whole world, how you gave Eminem VD (ahh!)
[02:12.98] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
[02:15.90] So I have been sent here to destroy you
[02:17.76] And there's a million of us just like me
[02:19.35] Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
[02:21.74] Who dress like me, walk talk and act like me
[02:24.13] And just might be, the next best thing, but not quite me
[02:26.79] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[02:28.65] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating
[02:31.04] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up?
[02:33.43] Please stand up, please stand up
[02:36.62] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[02:37.95] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating
[02:40.34] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up?
[02:42.73] Please stand up, please stand up
[02:44.85] I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you
[02:47.51] Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
[02:49.90] The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
[02:52.56] And I don't gotta be false or sugar-coat it at all
[02:54.68] I just get on the mic and spit it
[02:56.27] And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
[02:58.66] Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
[03:01.06] Then you wonder, how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?
[03:02.91] It's funny 'cause at the rate I'm goin' when I'm thirty
[03:05.57] I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting
[03:07.96] Pinchin' nurses asses while I'm jackin' off with Jergens
[03:10.35] And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin'
[03:12.48] In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin'
[03:14.87] He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
[03:17.52] Or in the parkin' lot circling, screamin' I don't give a fuck
[03:20.18] With his windows down and his system up
[03:22.30] So will the real Shady, please stand up?
[03:24.17] And put one of those fingers, on each hand up
[03:26.29] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
[03:28.95] And one more time loud as you can, how does it go?
[03:31.07] I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[03:32.93] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating
[03:35.32] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up?
[03:37.71] Please stand up, please stand up
[03:40.10] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[03:42.23] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating
[03:44.35] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up?
[03:48.34] Please stand up, please stand up
[03:49.40] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[03:51.26] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating
[03:53.65] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up?
[03:56.84] Please stand up, please stand up
[03:58.43] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[04:00.82] All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating
[04:03.74] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up?
[04:05.07] Please stand up, please stand up
[04:10.12] Haha, guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
[04:14.10] Fuck it, let's all stand up
