Arose

[00:05.21] If I could rewind time like a tape

[00:07.88] Inside a boombox, one day for every pill or Percocet that I ate

[00:13.61] Cut down on the Valium, I'da heard everything

[00:16.53] But death is turning, so definite, wait!

[00:19.88] They got me all hooked up to some machine

[00:22.17] I love you, Bean, didn't want you to know I was struggling

[00:25.80] Feels like I'm underwater submerged like a submarine

[00:28.33] Just heard that nurse say, my liver and kidneys aren't functioning

[00:31.94] Been flirtatious with death, skirt-chasing, I guess

[00:34.59] It's arrivederci, same nurse, just heard say they're unplugging me

[00:37.93] And it's your birthday, Jade, I'm missing your birthday

[00:41.55] Baby girl, I'm sorry, I fucking hate when you hurt, Hai

[00:45.04] And sweeties, thank you for waiting to open gifts

[00:47.61] But, girls, you can just open 'em

[00:49.10] Dad ain't making it home for Christmas

[00:52.03] Wish I had the strength to just blow a kiss

[00:54.15] I go to make a fist, but I can't make one, I'm frozen stiff

[00:57.22] I yell, but nothing comes out, I'm crying inside, I shout

[01:00.46] My vocal cords won't permit me, I scream, but it's not aloud

[01:04.43] You put your arm around Mama to calm her, wow

[01:06.82] I just thought about the aisle I'll never get to walk us down

[01:10.71] Never see you graduate in your caps and gowns

[01:13.56] It's 'bout to be 2008, how's this happening now?

[01:17.27] I got so much more to do

[01:18.87] And, Proof, I'm truly sorry if I let you down, but this tore me in two

[01:23.91] The thought of no more me and you

[01:25.94] You gave me shoes, Nikes like new for me for school

[01:29.95] Doody, I'm trying, but you, you were the glue that binded

[01:33.15] So many things, time, I'd give anything to rewind it

[01:36.35] I had to walk down my halls and constantly be reminded

[01:39.47] By pictures all on my walls and I couldn't sleep at night 'cause

[01:42.58] That image burned in my brain of you on that table

[01:45.14] Me falling across your body, not able to stand to save you

[01:49.38] God, why did you take him?

[01:51.14] I'm tryna keep his legacy alive, but I'm dying, where's Nathan?

[01:54.78] Little ladies, be brave, take care of your mother

[01:57.97] Smile pretty for pictures, always cherish each other

[02:01.14] I'll always love ya, and I'll be in the back of your memory

[02:04.22] And I know you'll never forget me

[02:05.47] Just don't get sad when remembering

[02:08.13] And, little bro, keep making me proud

[02:10.26] You better marry that girl 'cause she's faithfully down

[02:13.70] And when you're exchanging those sacred vows

[02:15.45] Just know that if I could be there, I would

[02:17.59] And should you ever see parenthood, I know you'll be good at it

[02:21.07] Oh, almost forgot to do something, thank my father too

[02:24.16] I actually learned a lot from you

[02:26.31] You taught me what not to do

[02:28.70] And, Mom, wish I'd have had the chance

[02:30.45] To have one last heart-to-heart honest and open talk with you

[02:34.07] Doody, I see you, I go to walk to you

[02:36.63] And I can feel my soul leave my body and float across the room

[02:40.36] Nurses lean over the bed, pulling tubes out

[02:43.31] Then the sheet over my head, shut the room down

[02:46.77] Girls, please don't get upset, I see them cheeks soaking and wet

[02:50.23] As you squeeze hold of my neck, so forcibly, don't wanna let

[02:53.04] Me go, pillow drenched, emotional wrecks

[02:56.68] With every second, each closer to death

[02:59.50] But suddenly I feel my heart begin to beat slow then a breath, machines go

[03:04.29] Must've guessed the cheat codes to this shit

[03:06.86] I'm trying to rewind time like a tape

[03:09.78] Find an escape, make a beeline, try and awake

[03:13.15] From this dream, I need to re-find my inner strength

[03:16.35] To remind me, even if a steep climb I must take

[03:19.54] To rewrite a mistake, I'm rewinding the tape

[03:26.73] I'll put out this last album, then I'm done with it

[03:29.28] One hundred percent finished, fed up with it

[03:31.05] I'm hanging it up, fuck it!

[03:32.81] Excuse the cursing, baby, but just know

[03:35.21] That I'm a good person, though they portray me as cold

[03:37.76] And if things should worsen, but I bet you they won't

[03:40.42] I'm pledging to throw this methadone in the toilet

[03:42.80] Shred these old letters I wrote

[03:44.40] All that old pathetic loathing, closing credits can roll

[03:47.33] I'm proud to be back

[03:48.93] I'm 'bout to, like a rematch, outdo Relapse

[03:52.11] With Recovery, Mathers LP2

[03:54.52] Help propel me to victory laps

[03:57.19] Gas toward 'em and fast forward the past

[03:59.48] Consider the last four minutes as

[04:01.25] The song I'da sang to my daughters

[04:03.02] If I'da made it to the hospital less than 2 hours later, but I fought it

[04:06.64] And came back like a boomerang on 'em

[04:08.66] Now a new day is dawnin'

[04:10.15] I'm up, Tuesday, it's mornin', now I know