Verified
[00:09.39] I used to have no friends and no job
[00:11.81] And I'd sit around with no pants on
[00:14.23] Had no dates, got no love
[00:16.09] 'Cause I still live with my grandma
[00:19.28] And everyone treated me badly (you suck!)
[00:21.14] City bus would drive right past me
[00:23.55] My dog even said, "We're over!"
[00:25.66] He wants to see other owners
[00:27.53] (Hey!) So I talked to a doctor
[00:29.66] (Hey!) 'Cause I was overthinking
[00:31.77] (Hey!) That day she quit and she recommended I just start drinking
[00:36.03] (You've got problems!)
[00:37.05] My dating profile said, "Just swipe left"
[00:39.22] 'Cause I know I'll annoy them
[00:41.07] Women wouldn't even look my direction
[00:42.67] Hey, Siri! (I have a boyfriend)
[00:45.62] Then one day I overslept (huh?)
[00:47.74] Woke up late like, "What the heck?" (Wait)
[00:49.88] Checked my socials, wait a sec (what?)
[00:52.03] Next to my name was a big blue check?
[00:56.30] Bitch, I'm verified
[01:06.15] Bitch, I'm verified
[01:13.87] Bitch, I'm verified
[01:15.42] I am feeling tremendous
[01:17.05] Now people clap when I finish up a sentence (yeah)
[01:19.20] Now they build a statue to honor my existence (oh, God)
[01:21.35] Now I got the president filling up my mentions (woo)
[01:24.28] I don't need a chauffeur
[01:25.87] I ain't had a car since last October
[01:28.01] Ever since they gave me a Nobel Prize
[01:30.12] I don't drive 'cause the crowd carries me everywhere on their shoulders
[01:32.78] (Hey!) They put my face on a dollar
[01:34.92] (Hey!) I grew a few inches taller
[01:37.33] (Hey!) Being verified is amazing
[01:39.44] Elon hit me up and said she wants to have my baby (I love you!)
[01:42.38] And they tore down the Sphinx
[01:43.47] And replaced it with my face and my social links
[01:45.59] And they named a new species of dinosaur after me
[01:48.26] Puff-Puffasaurus, naturally
[01:50.95] When I hang around the Queen
[01:53.02] She's the one who bows to me
[01:55.47] She's gotta show respect
[01:57.07] 'Cause I'm the one with the big blue check
[02:01.84] Bitch, I'm verified
[02:10.60] Bitch, I'm verified
[02:19.11] Bitch, I'm verified
[02:27.90] Bitch, I'm verified
[02:30.29] Puff-Puff, Puff-Puff! It's time to cut the grass!
[02:34.27] No, grandma! I don't have to mow
[02:36.66] I'm verified now!
[02:38.26] A veggie-what? I don't care if you eat meat or not
[02:41.45] You get out there and cut that grass!
[02:43.84] Ugh!
