Our Word

[00:06.18] Like really little, like eight or so

[00:10.20] I was playing in my father's study

[00:13.94] A place in the house I wasn't supposed to go

[00:18.18] My father fancied himself a sailor

[00:22.17] His study was filled with nautical decor

[00:26.68] He kept a boat in a bottle on the top of a shelf

[00:30.69] And it shattered on the ground when I slammed the door

[00:33.60] I told my mother everything

[00:37.85] I told her I was so, so sorry

[00:41.04] She told me, "Don't cry

[00:43.23] When he comes home tonight

[00:45.63] We can make everything okay

[00:49.88] This is all we have to say"

[00:53.87] "We don't remember a boat in a bottle

[00:58.12] It must've fallen off its shelf alone

[01:02.36] We know you loved it, we're so sad it's broken

[01:06.36] But neither one of us was even home"

[01:09.82] And it's our word

[01:11.95] Yes, our word

[01:14.10] Against his

[01:17.29] So I hid screw-ups from my father

[01:20.47] Made up school awards to please my mom

[01:25.01] Whatever made the steak taste better

[01:29.27] Whatever kept the waters calm

[01:33.52] I was told to keep their secrets

[01:37.51] And in turn, they'd keep mine

[01:41.78] As I got older, I got dumber

[01:45.76] I couldn't help but cross the line

[01:49.21] Three times I nearly wrecked my life

[01:52.93] Three times I nearly came to ruin

[01:58.50] Three times went crying to my parents

[02:01.99] Who said they'd make it go away

[02:04.64] Yes, this is all we had to say

[02:08.90] "We never rented a house in Sedona

[02:13.17] We didn't see Camille the day she died

[02:17.44] We haven't been on our boat in some years now

[02:21.68] So we don't care what you found inside"

[02:24.88] And it's our word

[02:27.26] Yes, our word

[02:29.66] It's our word

[02:31.53] Yes, our word

[02:36.10] Against theirs

[02:43.83] Somebody was paid (paid)

[02:47.82] To make it go away (away)

[02:51.54] Everyone was paid (paid)

[02:55.52] To make the problems go away (away)

[03:00.30] Doesn't matter who gets screwed

[03:03.23] Or who is blame

[03:05.12] Do what you need to do to clear your name

[03:08.86] An inconvenient truth can be easily erased

[03:20.29] When I was 26

[03:24.81] I was living in New York

[03:28.26] I developed some fun habits

[03:32.51] Put my white blood cells to work

[03:36.51] I remember it so clearly

[03:40.76] I was home alone on a Tuesday night

[03:45.02] To level out, I'd popped some downers

[03:49.01] But couldn't seem to get my mind right

[03:53.28] I drew a bath and slipped into it

[03:57.28] And suddenly became aware

[04:01.54] I couldn't keep my head above water

[04:05.79] I took a final gasp of air

[04:09.26] And as I laid there helplessly

[04:12.18] A million different thoughts came to me

[04:16.45] I saw my parents hearing the news

[04:20.43] "Your only daughter drowned today"

[04:24.69] I thought about what they might say

[04:28.97] "Our daughter, Judith?

[04:30.32] No, she moved to Austin

[04:33.23] She's very happy there, or so we hear

[04:37.23] She's always been so goddamned independent

[04:41.49] The years go by, and now we barely see her"

[04:45.46] "Our daughter, Judith?

[04:46.79] You must be mistaken

[04:49.74] You mean the girl we raised as if our own?

[04:54.00] We loved her so much, she felt like our child

[04:58.31] But eventually, we had to send her home"

[05:01.50] It'd be their word

[05:03.90] Only their word

[05:06.02] It'd be their word

[05:08.16] Only their word

[05:12.98] On its own