the real slim shady
[00:03.35] May I have your attention, please?
[00:05.48] May I have your attention, please?
[00:08.14] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:11.61] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:15.85] We're gonna have a problem here
[00:17.70] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
[00:19.83] Jaws all on the floor, like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
[00:22.75] And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
[00:24.87] They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (agh!)
[00:26.99] It's the return of the: Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
[00:29.65] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?
[00:31.78] And Dr. Dre said: Nothing, you idiots!
[00:34.17] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha!)
[00:36.58] Feminist women love Eminem
[00:37.91] Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
[00:40.83] Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
[00:43.21] Flippin' the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though
[00:44.55] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
[00:45.60] But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
[00:50.12] Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
[00:52.25] But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
[00:54.38] My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
[00:56.78] And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
[00:59.17] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
[01:01.30] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
[01:03.68] Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
[01:05.55] By the time they hit fourth grade
[01:07.67] They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
[01:08.73] We ain't nothin' but mammals
[01:10.06] Well, some of us, cannibals
[01:11.13] Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[01:12.98] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
[01:14.84] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[01:17.76] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
[01:19.89] Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes
[01:22.02] I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[01:23.87] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:26.53] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:28.65] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:31.05] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[01:32.91] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:35.56] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:38.22] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:40.08] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
[01:42.73] Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
[01:45.14] You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
[01:47.00] Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
[01:49.66] But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?
[01:51.79] Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
[01:53.90] So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
[01:56.03] Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
[01:58.69] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
[02:00.82] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
[02:03.20] Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
[02:05.33] Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee
[02:07.71] I should download her audio on MP3
[02:09.59] And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (agh!)
[02:12.77] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
[02:14.35] All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
[02:17.54] And there's a million of us just like me
[02:19.14] Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
[02:21.53] Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
[02:23.91] And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
[02:26.85] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[02:28.70] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:31.09] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:35.34] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:35.87] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[02:37.99] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:40.12] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:42.24] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:44.37] I'm like a head trip to listen to
[02:45.98] ‘Cause I'm only givin' you things you joke about
[02:47.57] With your friends inside your livin' room
[02:49.69] The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
[02:52.88] And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
[02:54.73] I just get on the mic and spit it
[02:56.06] And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
[02:57.39] Better than 90% of you rappers out can
[02:59.78] Then you wonder: How can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?
[03:00.58] It's funny, ‘cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30
[03:04.56] I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
[03:05.35] Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
[03:09.87] And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
[03:12.79] And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
[03:14.39] He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
[03:17.05] Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming: I don't give a fuck!
[03:19.97] With his windows down and his system up
[03:21.83] So will the real Shady please stand up
[03:23.70] And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
[03:26.09] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
[03:28.22] And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[03:30.61] I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[03:33.53] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:35.38] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:37.52] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:39.63] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[03:42.04] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:44.15] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:48.41] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:49.20] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[03:51.06] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:53.45] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:56.10] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:57.97] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
[04:00.35] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[04:02.75] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[04:05.14] Please stand up, please stand up?
[04:08.59] Ha ha
[04:10.19] I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
[04:14.17] Fuck it, let’s all stand up!
