The Real Slim Shady
[00:03.40] May I have your attention, please?
[00:06.31] May I have your attention, please?
[00:09.24] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:12.18] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:14.04] We're gonna have a problem here...
[00:17.50] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
[00:20.70] Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
[00:23.35] And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
[00:25.21] They first were divorced, suin' her over furniture (Agh!)
[00:27.59] It's the return of the "Oh, wait, no way, you're kidding
[00:29.72] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
[00:32.91] And Dr. Dre said… nothing, you idiots!
[00:35.32] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Ha ha!)
[00:37.18] Feminist women love Eminem
[00:38.77] "Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
[00:41.43] Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
[00:44.11] Flippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though"
[00:45.44] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
[00:46.24] But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
[00:49.19] Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
[00:50.79] But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
[00:55.86] "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
[00:57.72] And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
[00:59.84] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
[01:01.98] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
[01:04.62] Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is
[01:07.02] By the time they hit fourth grade
[01:08.09] They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
[01:09.42] We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
[01:11.27] Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[01:13.95] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
[01:15.54] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[01:18.20] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
[01:20.59] Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes—
[01:22.71] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:25.09] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:27.49] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:28.81] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:32.01] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:34.13] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:36.52] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:37.85] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:41.32] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (Nope)
[01:43.71] Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
[01:45.83] You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
[01:47.97] Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
[01:50.38] "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
[01:52.51] Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
[01:55.16] So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
[01:57.02] Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
[01:59.67] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
[02:01.82] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
[02:03.95] Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
[02:06.33] "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
[02:08.73] I should download her audio on MP3
[02:10.87] And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Agh!)
[02:13.26] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
[02:15.64] All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
[02:17.77] And there's a million of us just like me
[02:19.95] Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
[02:22.10] Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
[02:24.76] And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
[02:27.14] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:29.27] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:31.66] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:35.38] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:36.44] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:38.36] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:40.75] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:43.15] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:45.54] I'm like a head trip to listen to, ‘cause I'm only givin' you
[02:47.92] Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
[02:50.05] The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
[02:52.44] And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
[02:54.87] I just get on the mic and spit it
[02:56.98] And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
[02:59.13] Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
[03:01.52] Then you wonder: "How can
[03:03.11] Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
[03:04.18] It's funny, ‘cause at the rate, I'm going, when I'm thirty
[03:06.03] I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
[03:08.69] Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
[03:11.08] And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
[03:12.96] And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
[03:15.08] He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
[03:17.47] Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!"
[03:20.13] With his windows down and his system up
[03:22.79] So will the real Shady please stand up
[03:24.64] And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
[03:26.78] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
[03:29.18] And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[03:31.59] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:33.46] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:35.85] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:38.24] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:40.63] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:42.75] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:45.15] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:47.53] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:49.66] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:52.05] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:54.18] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:55.50] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:58.96] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[04:01.08] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[04:03.48] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[04:05.88] Please stand up, please stand up?
[04:09.34] Ha ha, I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
[04:14.91] Fuck it, let’s all stand up!
