Kendrick Lamar - Mother I Sober
[00:13.31] I'm sensitive, I feel everything, I feel everybody
[00:17.32] One man standing on two words, heal everybody
[00:21.37] Transformation, then reciprocation, karma must return
[00:24.29] Heal myself, secrets that I hide, buried in these words
[00:27.82] Death threats, ego must die, but I let it purge
[00:31.29] Pacify broken, pieces of me, it was all a blur
[00:34.51] Mother cried, put they hands on her, it was family ties
[00:37.96] I heard it all, I should've grabbed a gun, but I was only five
[00:41.41] I still feel it weighing on my heart, my first tough decision
[00:44.92] In the shadows, clinging to my soul as my only critic
[00:48.37] Where's my faith? Told you I was Christian, but just not today
[00:51.55] I transformed, praying to the trees, God is taking shape
[00:55.26] My mother's mother followed me for years in her afterlife
[00:58.73] Staring at me on back of some buses, I wake up at night
[01:01.91] Loved her dearly, traded in my tears for a Range Rover
[01:05.37] Transformation, you ain't felt grief 'til you felt it sober
[01:09.60] I wish I was somebody
[01:14.14] Anybody but myself
[01:22.37] Ooh, I wish I was somebody
[01:27.70] Anybody but myself
[01:35.93] I remember looking in the mirror knowing I was gifted
[01:39.93] Only child, me for seven years, everything for Christmas
[01:43.11] Family ties, they accused my cousin
[01:45.77] "Did he touch you Kendrick?"
[01:46.57] Never lied, but no one believed me when I said "He didn't"
[01:49.50] Frozen moments, still holding on it
[01:53.49] Hard to trust myself, I started rhyming
[01:55.88] Coping mechanisms to lift up myself
[01:56.93] Talked to my lawyer, told me not to be so hard on myself
[02:00.40] He has an aura I hope to achieve, if I find some help
[02:03.85] Congratulations, made it to be famous, still I feel uneasy
[02:07.31] Water watching, live my life in nature, only thing relieves me
[02:10.49] Spirit guide whisper in my ear tell me that she sees me
[02:13.97] "Did he touch you?" I said "No" again, still they didn't believe me
[02:17.18] Mother's brother said he got revenge for my mother's face
[02:20.67] Black and blue, the image of my queen that I can't erase
[02:24.19] 'Til this day can't look her in the eyes, pain is taking over
[02:27.65] Blame myself, you never felt guilt 'til you felt it sober
[02:31.10] I wish I was somebody
[02:36.15] Anybody but myself
[02:44.65] Ooh, I wish I was somebody
[02:49.70] Anybody but myself
[02:58.48] I was never high, I was never drunk
[03:00.89] Never out my mind, I need control
[03:02.76] They handed me some smoke, but still I declined
[03:05.46] I did it sober, sitting with myself
[03:07.83] I went through all emotions, no dependents
[03:09.70] Except for the one, let me bring you closer
[03:12.62] Intoxicated, here's a lustful nature that I failed to mention
[03:15.80] Insecurities that I project, sleeping with other women
[03:19.26] Whitney's hurt, the pure soul I know, I found her in the kitchen
[03:22.70] Asking God, "Where did I lose myself? And can it be forgiven?"
[03:26.16] Broke me down, she looked me in my eyes "Is there an addiction?"
[03:29.35] I said "No", but this time I lied, I knew that I can't fix it
[03:32.90] Pure soul, even in her pain know she cared for me
[03:36.36] Gave me a number, said she recommended some therapy
[03:39.81] I asked my momma why she didn't believe me when I told her "No"
[03:43.26] I never knew she was violated in Chicago, I'm sympathetic
[03:46.49] Told me that she feared it happened to me, for my protection
[03:51.03] Though it never happened, she wouldn't agree
[03:53.20] Now I'm affected, twenty years later trauma has resurfaced
[03:56.98] Amplified as I write this song, I shiver 'cause I'm nervous
[04:00.44] I was five, questioning myself, 'lone for many years
[04:03.65] Nothing's wrong, just results on how them questions made me feel
[04:07.10] I made it home, seven years on tour, chasing manhood
[04:10.57] But Whitney's gone by time you hear this song, she did all she could
[04:14.02] All these women gave me super powers, what I thought I lacked
[04:17.48] I pray our children don't inherit me and feelings I attract
[04:20.65] A conversation not being addressed in black families
[04:24.16] The devastation haunting generations and humanity
[04:27.38] They raped our mothers, then they raped our sisters
[04:29.85] Then they made us watch, then made us rape each other
[04:32.78] Psychotic torture between our lives, we ain't recovered
[04:35.44] Still livin' as victims in the public eyes who pledge allegiance
[04:38.89] Every other brother has been compromised
[04:41.28] I know the secrets, every other rapper sexually abused
[04:44.73] I see 'em daily burying the pain in chains and tattoos
[04:48.18] So listen close before you start to pass judgement on how we move
[04:51.39] Learn how we cope, whenever his uncle had to walk him from school
[04:54.87] His anger grows deep in misogyny
[04:57.31] This is post-traumatic Black families and a sodomy, today is still active
[05:01.86] So I set free myself from all the guilt that I thought I made
[05:05.37] So I set free my mother all the hurt that she titled shame
[05:08.84] So I set free my cousin, chaotic for my mother's pain
[05:12.28] I hope Hykeem made you proud, 'cause you ain't die in vain
[05:15.74] So I set free the power of Whitney, may she heal us all
[05:19.19] So I set free our children, may good karma keep them with God
[05:22.65] So I set free the hearts filled with hatred, keep our bodies sacred
[05:26.09] As I set free all you abusers, this is transformation
[05:29.36] I wish I was somebody
[05:34.68] Anybody but myself
[05:42.92] Ooh, I wish I was somebody
[05:48.22] Anybody but myself
[05:56.72] You did it, I'm proud of you
[06:03.37] You broke a generational curse
[06:07.08] Say, "Thank you dad"
[06:08.42] Thank you daddy, thank you mommy, thank you brother
[06:21.19] Mr. Morale
[06:24.63] Before I go in fast asleep
[06:28.92] Love me for me
[06:35.29] I bare my soul and now we're free
