[00:00.11] Welcome to the internet,
[00:01.71] Have a look around
[00:03.56] Anything that brain of yours
[00:05.42] Can think of can be found
[00:07.01] We've got mountains of content,
[00:09.16] Some better, some worse
[00:11.28] If none of it's
[00:12.09] Of interest to you,
[00:13.41] You'd be the first
[00:15.00] Welcome to the internet,
[00:17.14] Come and take a seat
[00:18.48] Would you like to see the news
[00:20.32] Or any famous women's feet?
[00:22.71] There's no need to panic,
[00:24.57] This isn't a test, haha
[00:26.96] Just nod or shake your head,
[00:28.57] And we'll do the rest
[00:30.67] Welcome to the internet,
[00:32.54] What would you prefer?
[00:33.88] Would you like to fight
[00:35.21] For civil rights
[00:36.26] Or tweet a racial slur?
[00:38.13] Be happy,
[00:38.92] Be horny,
[00:39.98] Be bursting with rage
[00:42.11] We got a million different
[00:43.99] Ways to engage
[00:45.84] Welcome to the internet,
[00:47.96] Put your cares aside
[00:49.30] Here's a tip for straining pasta,
[00:51.15] Here's a nine-year-old who died
[00:53.01] We got movies,
[00:54.08] And doctors,
[00:55.14] And fantasy sports
[00:57.00] And a bunch of
[00:57.52] Colored pencil drawings
[00:58.60] Of all the different
[00:59.12] Characters in Harry Potter
[01:00.18] Fucking each other
[01:00.72] Welcome to the internet,
[01:02.04] Hold on to your socks
[01:03.64] 'Cause a random guy
[01:04.44] Just kindly sent you
[01:05.51] Photos of his cock
[01:06.82] They are grainy and off-putting,
[01:08.42] He just sent you more
[01:10.29] Don't act surprised,
[01:11.34] You know you like it,
[01:11.87] You whore
[01:13.48] See a man beheaded,
[01:14.53] Get offended,
[01:15.07] See a shrink
[01:15.86] Show us pictures of your children,
[01:17.17] Tell us every thought you think
[01:18.79] Start a rumor,
[01:19.57] Buy a broom or
[01:20.38] Send a death threat to a boomer
[01:21.70] Or DM a girl and groom her,
[01:23.04] Do a Zoom or
[01:23.84] Find a tumor in your
[01:24.88] Here's a healthy breakfast option,
[01:26.48] You should kill your mom
[01:27.55] Here's why women never fuck you,
[01:28.87] Here's how you can build a bomb
[01:30.47] Which Power Ranger are you?
[01:32.07] Take this quirky quiz
[01:33.66] Obama sent the immigrants to
[01:35.26] Vac
[01:35.52] ci
[01:36.04] nate
[01:36.31] your
[01:36.58] Kids
[01:37.63] Could I interest you in everything
[01:39.50] All of the time?
[01:40.82] A little bit of everything,
[01:42.42] All of the time
[01:43.75] Apathy's a tragedy
[01:45.34] And boredom is a crime
[01:46.68] Anything and everything,
[01:48.27] All of the time
[01:49.32] Could I interest you in everything
[01:50.92] All of the time?
[01:52.26] A little bit of everything,
[01:53.88] All of the time
[01:55.47] Apathy's a tragedy
[01:56.80] And boredom is a crime
[01:58.39] Anything and everything,
[01:59.73] All of the time
[02:01.31] ...
[02:10.89] You know?
[02:13.29] It wasn't always like this
[02:17.79] Not very long ago,
[02:21.51] Just before your time
[02:25.50] Right before the towers fell,
[02:29.49] Circa '99
[02:32.67] This was catalogs,
[02:35.06] Travel blogs,
[02:37.46] A chatroom or two
[02:40.65] We set our sights
[02:42.50] And spent our nights
[02:44.36] Waiting
[02:47.56] For you
[02:49.95] You,
[02:51.55] Insatiable you
[02:55.26] Mommy let you use her iPad,
[02:59.51] You were barely two
[03:02.71] And it did all the things
[03:05.89] We designed it to do
[03:10.67] Now, look at you,
[03:12.80] Oh, ha, look at you
[03:16.79] You,
[03:18.64] You!
[03:21.82] Unstoppable,
[03:24.48] Watchable
[03:26.07] Your time is now,
[03:27.95] Your inside's out,
[03:29.79] Honey, how you grew
[03:33.24] And if we stick together,
[03:36.70] Who knows what we'll do?
[03:40.96] It was always the plan
[03:44.41] To put the world in your hand
[03:48.40] ...
[03:51.04] Ha
[03:51.58] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
[03:53.42] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
[03:55.30] AH HA HA HA HA HA
[03:57.13] HA HA HA HA HA
[03:58.47] AH HA HA HA
[04:00.56] Could I interest you in everything
[04:03.48] All of the time?
[04:06.40] A bit of everything,
[04:08.53] All of the time
[04:11.18] Apathy's a tragedy
[04:13.31] And boredom is a crime
[04:16.23] Anything and everything,
[04:18.62] All of the time
[04:19.94] Could I interest you in everything
[04:21.54] All of the time?
[04:22.86] A little bit of everything,
[04:24.20] All of the time
[04:25.79] Apathy's a tragedy
[04:26.86] And boredom is a crime
[04:28.71] Anything and everything
[04:30.05] And anything and everything
[04:31.37] And anything and everything and
[04:32.97] All of the time
