The Sleep Disorder Song
[00:02.03] I can't sleep, I can't sleep, my brain repeats
[00:05.74] Incessantly, these OCD, trivialities
[00:08.67] And eventually, if I fall asleep, I can't breathe
[00:12.47] Insomnia, and
[00:14.60] Sleep apnea, ba dum bum bum
[00:18.85] My CPAP never works that good, no good no good no good
[00:23.90] I can't unwind, ba dum bum bum
[00:30.00] Would someone please hit me over the head with a sledgehammer
[00:34.26] I can't sleep, I can't sleep
[00:35.58] I close my eyes, can't find no sheep
[00:37.44] So I don't count sheep, I count shepherds
[00:39.30] Bo Peep, Jesus, Samuel L Jackon in Pulp Fiction
[00:44.08] Astronaut Alan Shepard
[00:45.67] When I was a kid I wanted to be an astronaut
[00:47.00] So I asssked, and they said Not
[00:48.07] Wait I'm supposed to be counting sheep
[00:50.72] Sheep apnea, ba ba ba baaaaas
[00:54.70] Lamb chops they sure do taste good
[00:57.88] So good, so good, so good
[01:01.08] My stupid brain goes round and round
[01:02.68] Round and round, round and round
[01:04.79] Wouldn't it be great if you could win an award for this?
[01:06.40] I'd like to thank my mother, and Alan Shepard
[01:09.04] And my pharmacist who is no help at all
[01:11.98] You hate me, you really really hate me
[01:14.10] I'm trying to think about nothing
[01:15.42] Nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing Alan Shepard, damn you Alan Shepard
[01:20.47] I'm trying to think about nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing Grapefruit... what?
[01:24.76] Nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing
[01:27.66] Did I turn off the oven?
[01:28.99] I'm sure I did... probably... of course I did
[01:31.92] I'm going to the kitchen to check on the oven
[01:33.51] It's off, of course it's off, I think I'll make a sandwich
[01:35.10] You know, I ordered some CBD, but someone at amazon is dyslexic
[01:43.62] cause I got the Charlie Daniels Band box set instead
[01:46.29] The devil went down to the kitchen and made himself a sandwich
[01:48.95] Sleep apnea, ba dum bum bum...
[01:52.42] I can't breathe, I'm so dumb
[01:55.61] Who forgets how to breathe for crying out loud
[01:58.01] I don't snore, YOU snore!
[02:01.47] Shut up! YOU shut up!
[02:03.59] I've been drinking decaf tea
[02:04.92] Listening to the white noise machine
[02:07.31] Breathing slowly and deeply
[02:09.42] I'm almost there, now I have to pee
[02:12.62] I shouldn't have drunk that gallon of pepsi
[02:15.01] Now I've got restless leg syndrome like Elvis Presley, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh
[02:19.81] Then all the next day, narcolepsy
[02:24.34] Thank you, thank you very much
[02:25.39] Is it weird that I fell asleep at McDonalds?
[02:27.25] In the drive-thru
[02:28.31] Or while pumping gas
[02:29.39] Or watching the eclipse
[02:30.72] Please drive around, sir
[02:32.30] Do you think it's wise that I drive around while I'm a...
[02:35.77] Sleep apnea, this song's so dumb
[02:45.34] Geez I have to be up in three hours... two hours... I have so much to do tomorrow...
[02:47.19] one hour... I'm screwed... thanks to...
[02:48.80] Sleep apnea, ba dum bum bum
[02:50.66] Fifteen minutes of sleep would be pretty good
[02:53.32] So good so good so good!
[02:56.50] I think i hear banjos, ba dum bum bum
[03:03.68] Would someone please hit me over the head with a canoe
[03:10.60] But I'm really bleeped cause I can't sleep
[03:12.20] You hate me, you really hate me
[03:15.13] The wheels in my brain are made of sheep
