The Main Character
[00:09.94] I'm that first-person they talk about in all the books
[00:18.45] I'm that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look
[00:27.20] Control the narrative reliably, baby, it's all about me
[00:36.49] And I wrote the book about throwing the book
[00:42.09] At those who don't do it by it
[00:45.28] So now I'm holding myself hostage
[00:47.14] Stockholm lust just looks like justice
[00:49.55] And enough lefts don't make the right but two wrongs do
[00:52.72] Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this
[00:54.34] Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground
[00:58.31] 'Cause if you shake your fist at snakes in grass
[01:01.00] It looks like punching down
[01:03.66] So, God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being
[01:07.63] I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
[01:13.49] I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy
[01:17.74] Don't come at me
[01:19.34] I'm the main character, and you have to like me
[01:31.30] I loot plot armor from NPCs
[01:33.94] Well, they are to me
[01:40.08] Trite, tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats, it's all XP
[01:48.04] Look in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's superego
[01:54.70] The underdog you cheer for
[01:57.89] Villains are everywhere, that's how I know that I'm the hero
[02:06.66] So tie me to the train tracks, laugh, and snidely twist your mustache
[02:10.90] Snidely Whiplash, Boris Badenov, ignoring me's bad enough
[02:15.15] Where do you get off? Da, das vedanya, darling
[02:18.08] Daleks in high collars monologue
[02:20.73] And I outsmart them with a ray-gun and a tweet
[02:24.72] So, God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being
[02:29.24] I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
[02:35.06] I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy
[02:39.05] Don't come at me
[02:40.39] I'm the main character, and you have to like me
[03:10.15] Judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach
[03:14.67] You don't know the prose or if the spine is still intact
[03:18.90] Oh, like Alice fell to Wonderland, come astroturf my Overton
[03:23.68] And embolden my demand to live by alternative facts
[03:28.46] Her majesty says, "The Royal We demand a standard of loyalty
[03:34.05] An agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor's new boots"
[03:39.61] The court fool got the guillotine
[03:42.81] The witches the stake, you the dopamine
[03:46.00] And Siemens made the Zyklon B, but we all still get the flu
[03:52.09] We all do what we need to to get through
[03:57.96] (It's nothing new)
[03:59.00] But I ain't done a fucking thing to you
[04:02.73] So, God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being
[04:07.24] I mean, imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme
[04:12.29] I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy
[04:16.00] Don't come at me
[04:17.35] I'm the main character, and you have to like me
