Survivor guilt

[00:08.39] Let

[00:21.40] Look

[00:22.99] Let me show you behind the scene

[00:25.38] Behind the glitz and the glamour and all the lights you see

[00:27.24] Behind the rumors on the life I lead

[00:29.63] Let me talk to the people like it's the mic in me

[00:32.03] The truth is I got really bad anxiety

[00:34.68] I'm on the motorway, cryin' in the driver's seat

[00:37.34] I don't even know where I'm goin'

[00:39.99] I got love, but I don't know how to show it, is this life?

[00:42.38] When you feel like givin' up, know you're close

[00:45.04] I been sayin' the least and knowin' the most

[00:47.96] I've had ups and downs, but the highest of the highs

[00:50.88] Never last for as long as the lowest of lows

[00:54.87] Survivor's guilt

[00:57.00] I feel the worst at my happiest

[00:58.85] 'Cause I miss all my niggas that couldn't be in this life I built

[01:01.51] But that's the type of shit that only I can feel

[01:04.17] Gettin' me in a mood

[01:06.29] My ex's got ivory skin

[01:09.48] Which is funny 'cause it's really the elephant in the room

[01:11.87] Is that enough reason to bury me in a tomb?

[01:14.53] I fell in love with an Albanian, I know it's mad

[01:16.65] We're not together, 'cause her family would hold us back

[01:19.84] I saw the red flags, I wouldn't want my child to grow in that

[01:22.49] Rum and Red Bull, it's a culture clash (fuckin' hell)

[01:26.22] I don't wanna let life tear us apart

[01:30.20] I see the Internet gossip and it wears on my heart

[01:32.85] I fuck with her, she was there from the start

[01:35.24] I'm seein' them laugh at me, cah I'm vulnerable

[01:38.70] Ain't that the shit that rappers' supposed to do

[01:41.62] I'd rather rap about arguin' with my girl than fuckin' your girl

[01:44.54] But I don't mind, because the both are true

[01:47.20] Ignorin' my messages, these times I know she on her

[01:51.71] Worst part is I wouldn't even do the same

[01:54.37] Hate it or love it, you gotta charge it to the game

[01:57.03] (Gotta charge it to the)

[01:59.16] Heavy is the head, but don't play with my heart

[02:02.34] I feel like a footballer when I'm makin' my art

[02:04.73] Through ball, how I'm managin' the weight of the past

[02:07.38] I felt so much pain that I got favorite scars

[02:10.04] And my house got wings like my favorite cars

[02:12.98] And the Millie Rock my favorite dance

[02:15.11] You can call it what you want it, but I got it off of takin' a chance

[02:17.76] I didn't take an advance

[02:19.62] Fame comes with a price, you can't pay in advance

[02:23.60] For six long years, I've been playin' my part

[02:26.53] Like a freak in a circus when they're makin' them dance

[02:28.92] I got nights where it's light and I got days where it's dark

[02:31.57] And the waters that I swim in, it ain't safe for the sharks

[02:34.23] He a gangster, but the stress gonna take him apart

[02:38.48] I'm with the niggas that I claimed from the start

[02:40.08] I see you niggas changin', they didn't make it

[02:41.13] It's a shame it takes fallin' to your death

[02:45.65] For a person to appreciate fully the gravity of the situation

[02:48.57] But that's just irony at its finest

[02:50.96] Black women, I just wanna say I'm sorry

[02:53.62] I done a lot of dumb shit, I won't lie to you

[02:56.01] I wanna be a voice for you, be a light for you

[02:59.20] I know I haven't done enough, I wanna try for you

[03:01.32] Wanna be on the frontline for you

[03:04.51] Campaign for you, make change for you

[03:06.63] I just wanna help in any way

[03:10.09] Bein' genuine, I think about it every day

[03:11.95] Tour life, travellin' every day

[03:14.60] Nerves paralyzing when you get to stage

[03:17.53] You feel love for an hour, and then it gets to fade

[03:19.92] Imagine what that does to your mental state

[03:22.59] Imagine bein' a millionaire at a tender age

[03:25.24] You don't even know whether to spend or save

[03:29.23] My mum had to grow up fast, she expects the same

[03:32.15] I was twenty with a mortgage and rent to pay

[03:34.01] So what's happenin'? I got gorillas all around me, allow me

[03:38.79] Don't get grabbed in a party or lackin'

[03:41.18] You'll die for a wine like Joffrey Baratheon

[03:43.84] Pattern 'em

[03:45.43] The government ain't gonna help with all the issues that I'm tacklin'

[03:49.15] The way you talk about politics is bafflin'

[03:52.87] I wouldn't even trust my own shadow in a cabinet

[03:54.99] Cabbin' it can't drive no more

[03:57.39] I been lookin' for the answers, sure that I'll find 'em

[04:00.04] I don't judge an accent but the story behind it

[04:02.70] We all know loss, but there's glory behind it

[04:05.62] I'ma make a film for my mum

[04:08.28] And tell her tale to the world, this album is just the soundtrack

[04:10.67] Look at her story in a year in her life

[04:13.32] And tell me if it doesn't bring a fuckin' tear to your eyes

[04:15.71] In this together

[04:17.31] I thought wishin' wouldn't hurt, but take it over

[04:20.49] I'm done holdin' at your lies

[04:24.48] So knowin' that it weren't for any one thing

[04:24.75] You know you love fast and I know you wanna stay

[04:30.33] In the clouds, my heads sippin' up

[04:31.38] Let the other try, said I don't wanna try

[04:34.84] I thought wishin' wouldn't hurt, but take it over

[04:38.56] I'm done holdin' at your lies

[04:39.88] So knowin' that it weren't for any one thing

[04:42.01] "What I've realized

[04:44.13] What I realized 'bout who I am

[04:47.06] Is that, you're kinda taught

[04:49.98] You're taught to die for what you stand for, you feel me?

[04:51.57] But I realize I'm here to live for what I stand for

[04:52.63] 'Cause I wanna see it, bro, I wanna enjoy it, bro

[04:55.29] I wanna see what I feel, like I am, you know what I'm sayin'?

[04:59.54] Out there, while I'm here, and that's that, bro

[05:02.20] But, yeah, link up soon my guy, you know how it is

[05:05.12] Hustle o'clock bruv

[05:05.65] Shine on 'em"