I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE
[00:01.59] I don't want to be here right now
[00:05.58] I don't want to be here right now
[00:10.89] I don't want to be here right now
[00:19.12] Yeah
[00:20.18] I said that the thoughts would get better with time
[00:22.31] Said that I would try to change and I meant it but I
[00:24.43] Got this cloud that follows me, even when it's good
[00:26.82] I can feel it waiting for me, creeping overhead looking out
[00:29.48] But I don't want to wake you
[00:31.60] I know I should probably take one, but I take two
[00:33.47] I've been on the verge of a break or a breakthrough
[00:35.85] I don't hear a thing lately I can relate to
[00:37.98] And it makes you sick when you hear it
[00:40.10] There's something in my spirit
[00:41.43] Broken, I don't want to talk about it, too embarrassed
[00:43.82] It's been a couple years that I've been dealing with the same
[00:46.21] Trauma mixed with music and addiction, with the the shame
[00:48.34] And it's toxic
[00:49.70] Not what you thought when you met me
[00:51.03] But then I lost it
[00:52.36] Sometimes the thoughts will get messy
[00:53.42] But now they're constant
[00:54.76] I know it's all getting heavy and if I drop this
[00:56.09] I don't think that I'll come back
[00:57.15] I never thought all of this thinking would develop a habit
[00:58.48] You expect the worst eventually it's all gonna happen
[01:03.26] We're supposed to be companions not collateral damage
[01:05.65] But know it's hard to give a heart when you've been scarred
[01:08.05] And can't imagine life different
[01:09.37] That's when I tell you that you'd be better off
[01:10.70] With someone better off
[01:12.03] Not stuck in his bed with his thoughts
[01:14.16] Sometimes it's too much to deal with
[01:15.51] Say you wanna know how I'm feeling
[01:17.37] But if we're real now
[01:19.23] I don't want to be here right now
[01:24.03] I don't want to be here right now
[01:28.28] All that I'm feeling
[01:31.20] Too much to deal with
[01:33.85] And I don't want to be here right now
[01:37.57] I write out these paragraphs to people and then I delete em
[01:40.23] Try to tell em that I'm lonely
[01:42.64] And that I need em
[01:43.43] But you don't know what it does to me
[01:44.50] And how bad that it sucks to be alone
[01:45.82] When you don't respond after you read em
[01:47.68] I broke down and cried in front of those I care about
[01:50.07] They never text or care to check on my whereabouts
[01:52.46] There's no more voices in my head because I scared em out
[01:54.60] We all got problems, I'm just willing to air em out
[01:55.92] It's in my blood, but by the time hit the base it's
[01:59.90] Feeling numb, the only way I can face shit
[02:02.56] What I need is someone to come and save me
[02:04.68] When I drown, when I drown
[02:07.34] I don't really wanna be here, I just wanna go
[02:09.46] I just wanna be at home after a hundred shows
[02:12.12] I just wanna be alone, so no, no not right now, not right now
[02:16.91] And I'm tired of all the shit that I'm faced with
[02:19.29] Needed help, the devil said I could take this
[02:21.68] Put this shit up on my tongue and I could taste it
[02:24.07] It's lights out, it's lights out
[02:25.68] I don't want to be here right now
[02:32.06] I don't want to be here right now
[02:37.65] And all that I'm feeling
[02:39.28] Too much to deal with
[02:40.07] And I don't want to be here right now
