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The Contest

Sacha Baron Cohen, Johnny Depp, Tomothy Spall
[03:39.26]·
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[00:00.53] I am Adolfo Pirelli

[00:02.65] Da king of da barbers

[00:03.72] Da barber of kings

[00:04.78] E Buon Giorno, good day

[00:06.64] I blow you a kiss

[00:09.02] And I, da so famous Pirelli

[00:11.68] I wish-a to know-a who has-a the nerve-a to say

[00:16.19] My elixir is piss!

[00:19.38] Who says this?

[00:22.30] I do. I’m Mr. Sweeney Todd from Fleet Street. I have opened a bottle of Pirelli’s Elixir and I say to you, it is nothing but

[00:35.05] An arrant fraud, concocted from piss and ink. Furthermore, Signor, I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a

[00:47.80] Cheek with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank

[00:53.38] You hear dis foolish man? Now please you will see how he will-a regret-a his-a folly!

[01:01.89] Who’s for a free shave? Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?

[01:08.00] Glad, as always to oblige my friends and neighbors. The fastest, smoothest shave, is the winner!

[01:38.54] Now signorini, signori

[01:39.87] We mix-a da lather

[01:40.94] But first-a you gather

[01:42.53] Around signorini, signori

[01:44.12] You looking a man

[01:44.91] Who have had-a da glory

[01:45.98] To shave-a da pope

[01:47.04] Mister Sweeney, whoever

[01:48.10] I beg-a your pardon

[01:49.16] You’ll probably say it was only a cardinal

[01:51.83] NOPE!

[01:53.42] It was-a da Pope!

[01:57.67] To shave-a da face

[02:00.32] To cut-a da hair

[02:02.71] Require a grace

[02:05.11] Require da flare

[02:07.76] For if-a you slip

[02:09.09] You nick da skin

[02:10.15] You clip-a da chin

[02:11.21] You rip-a the lip a bit beyond-a repair

[02:16.00] To shave-a da face

[02:18.93] Or even a part

[02:21.05] Widout it-a smart

[02:23.18] Require da heart

[02:26.37] Not just-a da flash

[02:29.03] It take-a panache

[02:31.15] It take-a da passion for da art

[02:36.46] To shave-a da face

[02:38.85] To trim-a da beard

[02:41.24] To make-a da bristle

[02:43.37] Clean like a whistle

[02:45.49] Dis is from early infancy

[02:48.15] Da talent give to me by God

[02:58.51] It take-a da skill

[03:00.63] It take-a da brains

[03:02.76] It take-a da will

[03:05.17] To take-a da pains

[03:09.15] It take-a da pace

[03:11.54] It take-a da graaaaaaaaaaaaace

[03:22.43] The winner—is Todd!

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