Auntie Diaries

[00:00.38] Heart plays in ways the mind can't figure out

[00:02.77] Heart plays in ways the mind can't-

[00:05.42] Heart plays in ways the mind can't figure out

[00:08.34] This is how we conceptualize human beings

[00:20.57] My auntie is a man now

[00:23.22] I think I'm old enough to understand now

[00:25.88] Drinking Paul Masson with her hat turned backwards

[00:28.27] Motorola pager, off-white Guess jacket

[00:30.92] Blue Air Max's, gold chains and curl kits

[00:33.57] '93 Nissan wax job, the earliest

[00:35.97] Big social, big personality, vocal

[00:38.37] Played underground verbatim and stayed local

[00:41.55] My auntie is a man now

[00:43.15] I watch him and his girl hold their hands down

[00:45.28] Tip of the avenues under street lights made his

[00:47.92] Thinking, "I want me a bad bitch when I get big"

[00:50.33] They hug on the corner like California king

[00:52.98] Cold hand all up her skirt, cars whistling down the road

[00:55.10] See, my auntie is a man now, slight bravado

[00:58.03] Scratching the likes from lotto

[01:00.16] Hoping that she pull up tomorrow

[01:01.48] So I can hang out in the front seat

[01:03.34] Six by nines, keeping the music up under me

[01:05.74] My auntie is a man now

[01:06.80] I asked my momma why my uncles don't like him that much

[01:09.19] And at the parties why they always wanna fight him that much

[01:11.84] She said, "ain't no telling

[01:13.17] Niggas always been jealous because he had more women

[01:15.83] More money and more attention made more envy

[01:18.22] Calling him anything but broke was less offending"

[01:21.15] My auntie is a man now

[01:23.27] I think I'm old enough to understand now

[01:25.66] Drinking Paul Masson with her hat turned backwards

[01:28.32] Back when it was comedic relief to say "faggot"

[01:30.96] "Faggot, faggot, faggot," we ain't know no better

[01:33.10] Elementary kids with no filter, however

[01:36.01] My auntie became a man and I took pride in it

[01:38.15] She wasn't gay, she ate pussy, and that was the difference

[01:41.05] That's what I told my friends in second grade

[01:43.19] She picking me up from school, they stare at her in the face

[01:45.85] They couldn't comprehend what I grew accustomed

[01:48.23] We pull off bumping quick like it was nothing

[01:50.64] My auntie is a man now, what a relationship

[01:53.02] I grew up fast, I needed no one to babysit

[01:55.14] He gave me some cash, then gave me some game

[01:57.28] Cherry freshener on the dash, I never complained

[01:59.92] She even cut my hair at the pad, was loving my fade

[02:02.32] The first person I seen write a rap, that's when my life had changed

[02:06.29] House full of demo, smoke stuck on the window

[02:08.44] Cameras on the microphone, all women and men though

[02:10.83] My auntie was a man now, we cool with it

[02:13.22] The history had trickled down and made us ig'nant

[02:15.89] My favorite cousin said he's returning the favor

[02:18.02] And following my auntie with the same behavior

[02:20.93] Demetrius is Mary-Ann now

[02:23.32] He's more confident to live his plan now

[02:25.71] But the family in disbelief this time

[02:27.85] Convincing themselves, "He ain't living discreet, he's fine"

[02:30.50] They said they never seen it in him, but I seen it

[02:33.42] The Barbie dolls played off the reflection of Venus

[02:35.82] He built a wall so tall you couldn't climb over

[02:38.22] He didn't laugh as hard when the kids start joking

[02:40.88] "Faggot, faggot, faggot," we ain't know no better

[02:43.28] Middle school kids with no filter, however

[02:45.68] I had to be very mindful of my good cousin

[02:48.06] I knew exactly who he was, but I still loved him

[02:51.26] Demetrius is Mary-Ann now

[02:53.10] I mean he's really Mary-Ann, even took things further

[02:55.50] Changed his gender, before Bruce Jenner was certain

[02:58.16] Living his truth, even if it meant see a surgeon

[03:01.35] We didn't talk for a while, he seemed more distant

[03:03.21] Wasn't comfortable around me, everything was offensive

[03:05.85] But I recall we both had a sick sense of humor

[03:08.52] Made raw, but time changes all

[03:10.37] Demetrius is Mary-Ann now

[03:13.30] Remember church, Easter Sunday?

[03:15.16] I sat in the pew, you had stronger faith

[03:17.55] More spiritual and enthused with living life straight

[03:19.94] Which I found ironic 'cause the pastor didn't see him the same

[03:23.39] He said my cousin was going through some things

[03:25.52] He promised the world we living in was an act on abomination and Demetrius was to blame

[03:30.31] I knew you was conflicted by the feelings of preacherman

[03:32.69] Wondering if God still call you a decent man

[03:35.35] Still, you found the courage to be subservient just to anoint

[03:38.29] Until he singled you out to prove his point, saying

[03:41.20] "Demetrius is Mary-Ann now

[03:43.34] Church, his auntie is a man now", it hurt

[03:46.25] You the most 'cause your belief was close to his words

[03:49.19] Forcing me to stand now

[03:50.79] I said, "Mr. Preacher man, should we love thy neighbor?

[03:53.17] The laws of the land or the heart, what's greater?

[03:55.83] I recognize the study she was taught since birth

[03:58.22] But that don't justify the feelings that my cousin preserved"

[04:00.34] The building was thinking out loud, bad angel

[04:03.00] That's when you looked at me and smiled, said, "Thank you"

[04:05.66] The day I chose humanity over religion

[04:08.31] The family got closer, it was all forgiven

[04:10.98] I said them F-bombs, I ain't know any better

[04:13.35] Mistakenly, I didn't think that you'd know any different

[04:15.76] See, I was taught words was nothing more than a sound

[04:18.42] If everything was pronounced without any intentions

[04:20.82] The very second you challenged the shit I was kicking

[04:23.48] Reminded me about a show I did out the city

[04:25.88] That time I brung a fan on stage to rap

[04:28.29] But disapproved the word that she couldn't say with me

[04:30.95] You said, "Kendrick, ain't no room for contradiction

[04:33.33] To truly understand love, switch position"

[04:35.99] "Faggot, faggot, faggot," we can say it together

[04:38.37] But only if you let a white girl say, "Nigga"