Beetlejuice - The Whole ''Being Dead'' Thing
[00:00.81] Hey, folks! Begging your pardon!
[00:03.73] 'Scuse me! Sorry to barge in!
[00:06.99] Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole
[00:10.29] Y'know, "being dead" thing
[00:13.08] You're doomed! Enjoy the singing
[00:15.68] The sword of Damocles is swinging
[00:19.26] And if I hear your cell phone ringing
[00:21.93] I'll kill you myself
[00:23.23] The whole "being dead" thing!
[00:25.15] Death can get a person stressed
[00:28.01] "We should have carpe'd way more diems
[00:29.59] Now we're never gonna see ‘em!"
[00:31.77] I can show you what comes next
[00:33.86] So don't be freaked
[00:35.42] Stay in your seats
[00:36.97] I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week
[00:39.69] So just relax, you'll be fine
[00:41.31] Drink your fifty-dollar wine
[00:43.40] And take a breath!
[00:44.78] Welcome to a show about death!
[00:47.52] You're
[00:49.71] You're gonna be fine
[00:53.19] On the other side
[00:56.77] DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
[00:58.32] YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
[00:59.16] I'll
[01:01.34] I'll be your guide
[01:04.89] To the other side
[01:08.57] Well in full disclosure: it's a show about death!
[01:11.62] Everybody gets on fine here
[01:14.79] Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here
[01:17.93] The women's bathroom has no line here
[01:20.68] Just pee where you want
[01:22.31] The whole "being dead" thing!
[01:23.93] You're just gonna love the folks here
[01:26.86] Yeah, I know you're woke, but you can take a joke here
[01:29.97] And every show I do, like, a TON of coke here
[01:33.11] The whole—
[01:34.41] PAH-HAH! The whole "being dead" thing!
[01:36.54] Nobody is bullet-proof
[01:38.97] "I work out, I eat clean!"
[01:40.84] Jesus, pass the Dramamine
[01:42.69] Time to face the brutal truth: (Dies Illa)
[01:45.51] ‘Cause we're all on a hit list
[01:47.02] Might not live ‘till Christmas
[01:48.64] Choke to death on Triscuits
[01:50.02] Hey, that's just statistics
[01:51.36] So take a little break here
[01:53.24] Kinda like a wake here
[01:54.63] The scenery is fake here
[01:56.22] But there's a giant snake here!
[01:59.91] Ha ha ha
[02:05.48] Welcome to a show about death!
[02:07.84] You're
[02:10.34] You're gonna be fine—thank you!
[02:13.32] On the other side—how you doin'?
[02:17.26] Oh, not good!
[02:17.94] Ba-be-ba-ba-be-bo-boo-bap-boop!
[02:20.35] I'll—hey!
[02:22.54] I'll be your guide
[02:26.02] To the other side
[02:29.31] Seriously, though, this is a show about—
[02:31.74] Death is taboo, but it's hardly something new
[02:34.09] There's nothing medical professionals could do
[02:36.69] ‘cept maybe just bill you
[02:38.90] If you die while listening to this album, it's still gonna keep playing.
[02:43.72] There's no destiny or fate
[02:45.31] Just a terrifying wait
[02:46.90] Filled with people that you hate
[02:47.91] And on a certain date, the Universe kills you!
[02:53.22] That's the thing with life:
[02:54.06] No one makes it out alive
[02:57.82] Toss that body in the pit
[03:00.53] "Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?"
[03:02.33] "Blah-blah, Bible, Jesus magic"
[03:03.71] When you're dead, who gives a shit?
[03:07.01] "No pilates, no more yoga!"
[03:08.39] "Namaste", you freakin' posers
[03:10.55] From the cradle to cremation (Dies Irae)
[03:13.15] Death just needs a little conversation!
[03:16.30] I have mastered the art (Dies Irae)
[03:19.24] Of tearing convention apart (Dies Irae)
[03:22.25] So, how about we all make a start (Dies Irae)
[03:24.71] On the whole "being dead" thing!
[03:34.86] God, I hope you're ready for a show about death!
