The Battle Of Epping Forest

[01:10.14] Along the Forest Road, there's hundreds of cars - luxury cars

[01:16.25] Each has got its load of convertible bars, cutlery cars - superscars!

[01:24.75] For today is the day when they sort it out, sort it out

[01:30.60] 'Cause they disagree on a gangland boundary

[01:35.64] They disagree on a gangland boundary

[01:40.42] -

[01:43.35] There's Willy Wright and his boys -

[01:46.27] One helluva noise, that's Billy's boys!

[01:49.19] With fully-fashioned bugs, that's Little John's thugs

[01:54.50] The Barking Slugs - supersmugs!

[01:57.69] For today is the day when they sort it out, sort it out

[02:04.07] Yes, these Christian soldiers fight to protect the poor

[02:10.71] East end heroes got to score in...

[02:14.05] -

[02:14.06] The Battle of Epping Forest

[02:16.98] Yes it's the Battle of Epping Forest

[02:20.16] Right outside your door

[02:27.34] And you ain't seen nothing like it

[02:30.79] No, you ain't seen nothing like it

[02:33.98] Not since the Civil War

[02:35.57] -

[02:41.68] Coming over the hill are the boys of Bill

[02:45.57] And Johnny's lads stand very still

[02:48.49] With the thumpire's shout, they all start to clout

[02:52.21] - There's no guns in this gentleman's bout

[02:55.93] Georgie moves in on the outside left

[02:58.85] With a chain flying 'round his head;

[03:02.57] And Harold Demure, from Art Literature

[03:06.29] Nips up the nearest tree

[03:09.74] (Here come the cavalry!)

[03:22.75] Amidst the battle roar

[03:25.94] Accountants keep the score: 10-4

[03:30.19] They've never been alone, after getting a radiophone

[03:37.10] The bluebells are ringing for Sweetmeal Sam, real ham

[03:43.21] Handing out bread and jam just like any picnic

[03:49.32] Picnic - Picnic - Picnic

[03:58.61] -

[04:13.12] It's 5 to 4 on William Wright; he made his pile on Derby night

[04:18.70] When Billy was a kid, walking the streets

[04:24.01] The other kids hid - so they did!

[04:28.00] And now, after working hard in security trade, he's got it made

[04:34.11] The shops that need aid are those that haven't paid

[04:38.36] -

[04:39.96] "I'll do my double-show quick!"

[04:43.29] Said Mick the Prick, fresh out the nick

[04:47.28] "I sell cheap holiday. The minute they leave

[04:51.53] And a visit I pay - does it pay!"

[04:55.78] And his friend, Liquid Len by name

[04:59.50] Of Wine, Women and Wandsworth fame

[05:02.32] Said "I'm breaking the legs of the bastard that got me framed!

[05:07.89] I'm breaking the legs of the bastard that got me framed!"

[05:15.07] Got me framed

[05:18.25] -

[05:25.43] They called me the Reverend when I entered the Church unstained

[05:33.39] My employers have changed but the name has remained

[05:41.89] It all began when I went on a tour

[05:44.55] Hoping to find some furniture

[05:46.68] Followed a sign saying "Beautiful Chest"

[05:48.80] It led to a lady who showed me her best

[05:50.66] She was taken by surprise when I quickly closed my eyes

[05:54.64] So she rang the bell and quick as hell

[05:58.10] Bob the Nob came out on his job

[06:02.88] To see what the trouble was

[06:09.52] "Louise, is the Reverend hard to please?"

[06:12.87] "You're telling me!"

[06:13.93] "Perhaps, sir, if it's not too late

[06:17.11] We could interest you in our old-fashioned Staffordshire plate?"

[06:20.57] -

[06:22.43] "Oh no, not me, I'm a man of repute."

[06:30.40] But the Devil caught hold of my soul and a voice called out "Shoot!"

[06:37.04] -

[06:38.63] To save my steeple, I visited people;

[06:41.29] For this I'd gone when I met Little John

[06:43.15] His name came, I understood

[06:45.80] When the judge said "You are a robbing hood."

[06:51.93] He told me of his strange foundation

[06:55.90] Conceived in sight of the Woodstock nation

[07:00.15] He'd had to hide his reputation

[07:06.52] When poor, 'twas salvation from door to door

[07:10.51] But now, with a pin-up guru every week

[07:15.02] It was Love, Peace & Truth Incorporated for all who seek

[07:19.01] He employed me as a karma-ma-mechanic, with overall charms

[07:27.24] His hands were then fit to receive, receive alms

[07:34.41] -

[07:43.35] That's why we're in the Battle of Epping Forest

[07:47.86] Yes it's the Battle of Epping Forest

[07:51.05] Right outside your door

[07:58.75] We guard your souls for peanuts

[08:02.21] And we guard your shops and houses

[08:05.66] For just a little more, just a little more

[08:08.32] -

[08:13.10] In with a left hook is the Bethnal Green Butcher

[08:17.08] But he's countered on the right by Mick's chain-gang fight

[08:20.80] And Liquid Len with his smashed bottle men

[08:24.25] Is lobbing Bob the Nob across the gob

[08:28.24] With his kisser in a mess, Bob seems under stress

[08:31.69] But Jones the Jug hits Len right in the mug;

[08:35.15] And Harold Demure, who's still not quite sure

[08:39.13] Fires acorns from out of his sling

[08:42.58] (Here come the cavalry!)

[08:43.91] -

[08:55.33] Up, up above the crowd

[08:58.52] Inside their Silver Cloud, done proud

[09:03.30] The bold and brazen brass, seen darkly through the glass

[09:10.21] The butler's got jam on his Rolls; Roy doles out the lot

[09:15.79] With tea from a silver pot just like any picnic

[09:21.89] Picnic - Picnic - Picnic

[09:30.66] -

[10:01.47] Along the Forest Road, it's the end of the day

[10:06.42] And the Clouds roll away

[10:09.34] Each has got its load - they'll come out for the count

[10:14.12] At the break-in of day

[10:15.98] When the limos return for their final review, it's all thru

[10:22.09] - all they can see is the morning goo

[10:25.55] -

[10:26.34] "There's no-one left alive - must be a draw."

[10:35.91] So the Blackcap Barons toss a coin to settle the score