Hardware Store - Weird Al Yankovic (youtube)

[00:15.16] Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town

[00:16.63] Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here

[00:19.02] I thought that I would go right out of my mind

[00:20.61] Until a friend told me the news

[00:22.73] He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot

[00:24.32] Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it

[00:26.45] And on that spot they're gonna build a shop

[00:28.04] Where we can go buy bolts and screws"

[00:30.44] Since then I've been walking on air (air)

[00:32.04] I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair

[00:33.89] 'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care

[00:35.75] I've been waiting since last June

[00:38.14] For this day to finally arrive

[00:39.50] I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive

[00:41.50] 'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside

[00:43.22] Well, I hope they open soon

[00:45.60] I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh, when)

[00:49.49] When are they gonna open up that door?

[00:53.47] I'm goin' (yes, I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

[00:55.06] Goin' to the (hard) ware, I'm goin', really goin' to the

[00:56.92] Goin' (hard), I'm goin' to the (hard), oh, yes, I'm goin' to the

[00:58.78] Hardware store

[01:10.46] In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight

[01:12.05] Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out

[01:13.64] I pressed my nose right up against the glass

[01:15.51] You know, I had to be first in line

[01:18.16] Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom

[01:19.23] Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house

[01:21.88] See those hacksaws? Very, very soon

[01:23.21] One of them will be all mine

[01:25.59] Guys with nametags walking down the aisles

[01:26.92] Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles

[01:28.79] Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles

[01:30.92] All arranged alphabetically

[01:33.32] And they're doing a promotional stunt

[01:34.64] There's a great big purple sign out front

[01:36.66] That says every 27th customer

[01:38.40] Will get a ball peen hammer free

[01:40.80] I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh, when)

[01:44.78] When are they gonna open up that door?

[01:48.50] I'm goin' (yes, I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

[01:50.10] Goin' to the (hard) ware, I'm goin', really goin' to the

[01:51.96] Goin' (hard), I'm goin' to the (hard), oh, yes, I'm goin' to the

[01:53.97] Hardware store

[01:57.95] I'm goin' (yes, I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

[01:59.81] Goin' to the (hard) ware, I'm goin', really goin' to the

[02:01.67] Goin' (hard), I'm goin' to the (hard), oh, yes, I'm goin' to the

[02:03.53] Hardware store

[02:22.39] They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters

[02:24.51] Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods, and water meters

[02:26.38] Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires

[02:28.23] BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers

[02:30.10] Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters

[02:31.96] Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters

[02:33.82] Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables

[02:35.68] Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles

[02:37.53] Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication

[02:39.45] Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation

[02:41.30] Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors

[02:43.44] Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats, and bug deflectors

[02:45.30] Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers

[02:47.15] Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers

[02:49.02] Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers

[02:50.87] Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

[02:53.00] I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh, when)

[02:57.00] When are they gonna open the door?

[03:00.73] I'm goin' (yes, I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

[03:02.34] Goin' to the (hard) ware, I'm goin', really goin' to the

[03:04.46] Goin' (hard), I'm goin' to the (hard), oh, yes, I'm goin' to the

[03:06.31] Hardware store

[03:10.30] I'm goin' (yes, I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

[03:11.90] Goin' to the (hard) ware, I'm goin', really goin' to the

[03:13.75] Goin' (hard), I'm goin' to the (hard), oh, yes, I'm goin' to the

[03:15.88] Hardware store

[03:19.87] I'm goin' (yes, I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

[03:21.45] Goin' to the (hard) ware, I'm goin', really goin' to the

[03:23.58] Goin' (hard), I'm goin' to the (hard), oh, yes, I'm goin' to the

[03:25.17] Hardware store