4 - Nickelodeon Girls
[00:00.65] (Hello, Nickelodeon headquarters)
[00:01.65] Hi, sorry to disturb you
[00:03.16] this late in the night
[00:04.40] I have a serious
[00:05.66] inquiry directed toward Nickelodeon
[00:07.65] My question is
[00:08.66] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
[00:10.41] You know y'all used to have
[00:11.65] some fire bitches
[00:12.91] When I turn on the TV
[00:14.90] I'm trying to see my favorite bitches
[00:16.65] Zoey101?
[00:18.41] Jennette McCurdy?
[00:19.91] Oh my God
[00:21.90] And now all you got is these preteens
[00:23.90] Bruh, I'm not a pedo
[00:25.66] I'm not trying to look at these
[00:26.91] little kids and get aroused
[00:28.16] Now I can't watch Nickelodeon
[00:30.15] with my dick in my hand anymore
[00:31.90] Now I'm fucking upset
[00:33.65] This is some fucking bullshit
[00:35.66] (...)
[00:38.16] Dan Schneider
[00:40.16] Bring all my bitches back
[00:42.40] I need all my bitches,
[00:43.40] I need all my bitches
[00:44.65] The new shit you put out is wack
[00:46.90] Dan Schneider
[00:49.41] I'm just trying to get an erection
[00:50.90] But now that these kids looking 13 and under
[00:52.90] My penis will suffer
[00:54.40] (...)
[00:55.65] Dan fucking Schneider (Schneider)
[00:58.41] This ain't a fucking game, bitch
[01:00.40] I wanna watch a sitcom
[01:02.65] With my hand on my dick
[01:04.91] I wanna see a titty (titty)
[01:07.40] Not fucking kid shit
[01:09.66] Return all the hot chicks
[01:11.91] Or you gon get it bitch
[01:14.15] ♪
[01:14.66] iCarly, iCarly
[01:15.90] I don't care if you look like Michael Jackson
[01:18.65] As long as you giving me action
[01:20.90] And Freddy gon' film the reaction
[01:23.40] Sam gonna join in
[01:25.41] And suck me a fat one
[01:27.65] Nickelodeon girls
[01:30.16] Can't live without 'em (whew)
[01:31.66] ♪
[01:31.90] Ariana Grande
[01:34.65] I know I drive a Hyundai
[01:36.65] I can put you in a coma
[01:38.90] Have brunch on a Sunday (fancy)
[01:40.91] My dick put you in a coffin
[01:43.15] All night screaming and tossing
[01:45.66] Victoria Justice
[01:48.15] I know you tryna touch this
[01:49.91] ♪
[01:50.15] Lizzie McGuire is tight
[01:51.90] But I bet Zoey's tighter
[01:54.66] You can find me in her bed
[01:57.15] Digging through that vaginer
[01:59.15] Amanda Bynes, you a little bit crazy
[02:01.16] But you can still have my babies (whew)
[02:03.91] Go down like a dog with the rabies
[02:06.41] Y'all can't save me
[02:07.66] ♪
[02:08.40] Uh, a little bit of weed,
[02:09.16] hard liquor for the ladies
[02:10.16] Got me feeling like a young
[02:11.16] Dan Schneider from the 80's
[02:12.15] With a Jewish law firm
[02:13.41] and an all black Mercedes
[02:14.65] She playing with the balls like Brady (ay)
[02:17.40] Fuck off with the shitty
[02:18.16] little kids with their stupid shit
[02:19.65] I only wanna see the ones with a body fit
[02:21.41] And I don't want to be the one
[02:22.66] to be a little bitch about it
[02:23.66] But I'm just saying what everybody is thinking
[02:25.66] (hahahahaha)
[02:27.15] Where the titties at?
[02:28.65] Dan Schneider why you ruining your business?
[02:30.17] You realize
[02:31.66] I'd probably buy cable
[02:32.66] if you keep all the girls
[02:33.91] And the ratings all stable
[02:35.15] Cuz I ain't tryin to see a young
[02:36.16] baby in the cradle
[02:37.90] Cuz I'm not a pedophile
[02:39.40] (...)
[02:40.91] I'm not trying to see that shit
[02:42.65] (c'mon man)
[02:44.15] ♪
[02:44.65] The girls I have sexualized
[02:46.40] are all in their 20's and 30's
[02:47.91] (Disclaimer!)
[02:49.16] I'm not saying
[02:49.91] you should change all the bitches
[02:51.15] But at least something after 10:30 (30!)
[02:53.67] ♪
[02:53.90] Dan Schneider
[02:56.16] Bring all my bitches back
[02:58.41] I need all my bitches,
[02:59.41] I need all my bitches
[03:00.41] I need all my bitches back
[03:03.16] ♪
[03:03.66] I love you Dan Schneider,
[03:04.41] just please bring them back
[03:05.91] (...)
