Weird Al Yankovic - Amish Paradise
[00:12.58] As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
[00:15.40] I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
[00:18.49] But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
[00:21.24] You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
[00:24.25] At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milkin' cows
[00:27.25] Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
[00:30.50] And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
[00:33.00] Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
[00:36.00] I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
[00:39.00] Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
[00:41.76] But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
[00:44.75] Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
[00:48.21] We been spending most our lives
[00:50.46] Living in an Amish paradise
[00:54.22] I've churned butter once or twice
[00:56.46] Living in an Amish paradise
[01:00.21] It's hard work and sacrifice
[01:02.21] Living in an Amish paradise
[01:05.96] We sell quilts at discount price
[01:08.22] Living in an Amish paradise
[01:11.33] A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
[01:13.84] I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
[01:17.33] I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
[01:19.84] 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
[01:22.84] But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
[01:25.83] An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
[01:28.84] I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
[01:31.84] And my homies agree, I really look good in black, fool
[01:34.83] If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
[01:37.58] We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
[01:40.59] But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
[01:43.58] We're just technologically impaired
[01:46.08] There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
[01:49.09] Not a single luxury
[01:52.08] Like Robinson Crusoe
[01:55.10] It's as primitive as can be
[01:58.61] We been spending most our lives
[02:00.85] Living in an Amish paradise
[02:04.60] We're just plain and simple guys
[02:06.61] Living in an Amish paradise
[02:10.36] There's no time for sin and vice
[02:12.36] Living in an Amish paradise
[02:16.10] We don't fight, we all play nice
[02:18.36] Living in an Amish paradise
[02:21.78] Hitchin' up the buggy, churning lots of butter
[02:24.61] Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
[02:27.55] Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
[02:30.16] Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
[02:33.42] I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
[02:36.17] On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
[02:39.42] So don't be vain and don't be whiny
[02:41.67] Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
[02:45.66] We been spending most our lives
[02:47.67] Living in an Amish paradise
[02:51.41] We're all crazy Mennonites
[02:53.66] Living in an Amish paradise
[02:57.17] There's no cops and traffic lights
[02:59.43] Living in an Amish paradise
[03:02.92] But you'd probably think it bites
[03:05.42] Living in an Amish paradise
[03:18.61] Yech
