DOROTHY vs ALICE- Princess Rap Battle (Emily Kinney, Ryan McCartan, Whitney Avalon) -explicit-

[00:06.65] ...

[00:14.15] When you look into the mirror, I’m sure you’re distressed

[00:16.64] Your book borrowed my look, you’re even wearing my dress

[00:19.14] I been rocking this game since before you were born

[00:21.65] Corny copy’s lost because she ain’t in Kansas anymore

[00:24.14] I'm surprised your garbage squad hasn't fallen apart

[00:26.64] Yellow bellied, empty-headed, that one’s got no heart

[00:28.90] Double killers, caterpillars and a mad man in my crew

[00:31.64] Put you on blast, I gotta ask: Who are you?

[00:34.39] ...

[00:36.65] Well, I’m Dorothy Gale, and you’re on my street

[00:39.14] Not a good witch, I’m a bad bitch

[00:40.40] Ruby kicks on my feet

[00:41.64] Quirky stupid chicks and nobody can stand ‘em

[00:44.15] You’re that annoying girl shouting: "LOL I’m so random!"

[00:46.65] I got sense and sensibility like my girl Jane Austen

[00:49.14] Wreckin’ your tea party like they did back in Boston

[00:51.89] Word to your moms, I’m dropping L. Frank Bombs

[00:54.14] Got more bars than Wonka more composed than Brahms

[00:56.64] Better say your prayers

[00:57.89] We’re your worst nightmares

[00:58.89] Keep dreaming, you’ll be screaming

[01:00.65] Lions, tigers, and bears (Oh my!)

[01:01.90] I’ve come to free the land from an olive hand

[01:04.14] A beginning middle end that even kids can understand

[01:06.40] In your sadness you wallow, talkin’ rabbits you follow

[01:09.15] Put a bottle near your mouth, you’re not thinkin’, you swallow

[01:11.64] I didn’t make the mold but I’m the one who broke it

[01:13.89] I’m the better heroine, stick that in your pipe and smoke it

[01:16.90] ...

[01:19.39] No place like home? You’re from a podunk prairie

[01:21.65] Ease on down the road

[01:22.89] Cause shiz is gonna get scary

[01:24.14] What’s your battle plan? I don’t think you understand

[01:26.64] A coward, dolt and bag of bolts can’t step to Wonderland

[01:28.89] Don't make me light up your friend cause he’s met his match

[01:31.39] A stitched together strawman that stinks like bandersnatch

[01:34.14] You’re washed up and washed out, you’re fading, and thus

[01:36.65] Click your heels together baby and bugger off to Kansas

[01:39.64] ...

[01:41.89] Who needs brains when you have this much swagger?

[01:43.89] I don’t even gotta think and I got moves like Jagger

[01:46.65] I’m outstanding in my field while you have mental lapses

[01:48.90] Teaching crows how to murder with my lack of synapses

[01:51.65] Noggin stuffed with knowledge, stitching rhymes so raw

[01:53.90] Throwing shade at Oz? Hay, that’s the last straw

[01:56.39] Let’s have a heart to heart, you tart stealing tart

[01:58.89] Alice, you’re so stupid, you make me look smart

[02:01.65] ...

[02:06.65] Gimme that oil can so I can get loose

[02:09.15] I’m relaxing while I’m axing through your crew like a spruce

[02:11.40] I’m a ten out of tin, the heavy metal playa hater

[02:14.15] I’m heartless and relentless like the fucking Terminator

[02:16.64] Got more joints than Snoop, sippin’ mock turtle soup

[02:18.90] Hell, I’m just blowing off steam like a chimney (Toot Toot)

[02:21.65] I ain’t scared of shit cause I’m bulletproof

[02:24.15] Throw your hands in the air and raise this hot tin roof

[02:27.14] ...

[02:31.65] Let me at ‘em, I’ll tear ‘em limb from limb

[02:33.90] Smack a hat off the whack job, make a snack of Tweedledim

[02:36.65] You fellas are all yella, you ain’t got what I got

[02:39.14] With a paw behind my back, I’ll tie you all up in a knot

[02:41.40] Outrageous and courageous, that’s kinda my thing

[02:43.89] Bow down to the crown, It’s good to be the king

[02:46.65] Scurry home with your friends, Miss Little Bo Peep

[02:48.90] A lion doesn’t pay attention to the opinions of sheep

[02:51.65] ...

[02:56.64] You wanna step to this duo? Cause we’re ready to battle

[02:58.89] Dee and Dum are down to frickin’ spank your ass like a paddle

[03:01.40] Beg and plead on your knees to the double trouble emcees

[03:04.14] And if you don’t like it, you can tweedle-deez

[03:06.39] These tale-telling twins are stopping, dropping, and rocking you

[03:09.14] Choppin’ and mockin’ snicker snakt jabberwocking you

[03:11.64] Talk smack in our world, it’s off with your head

[03:13.90] We go hard, pull your card and paint your chest red

[03:17.15] ...

[03:26.64] Today is my unbirthday and it’s not cause I hate ya

[03:29.15] Serving dishes and dissin’ ya cause I’m nutty by nature

[03:31.65] My writing desk riddle, can you tackle it quick?

[03:34.15] It makes no sense to rap against a ‘raven’ lunatic

[03:36.40] She’d be a Tea Party crasher? This bastard haberdasher

[03:39.15] Came to trash and slash and bash and put her pussy out to pasture

[03:41.40] I’m a dastardly villain like a riddling Dillinger

[03:44.15] Top billing in shillings, this milliner’s killing her

[03:46.39] I keep my mug mean, I keep my cups clean

[03:48.90] I’m the baddest maddest hatter that the world has ever seen

[03:51.65] Look at your face. You're so troubled, my dear!

[03:53.99] Of course our raps make you angry, we're all mad here !

[03:57.25] ...

[03:59.50] Your sloppy story structure simply can’t be excused

[04:01.49] Just like the audience you spent your whole movie confused

[04:04.00] Our adventure had a point, we found the man behind the curtain

[04:06.50] I would ruin your whole world but that's been done by Tim Burton

[04:09.25] I’m slammin’ other damsels while I’m spittin’ so speedily

[04:11.50] Running rampant on these cowards that are dumber than Tweedledee

[04:14.00] We’re ferocious fierce and feisty, you’re a sleepy little mouse

[04:16.49] Watch me smash and flatten bitches when I bring down the house

[04:19.50] ...

[04:24.25] Oh, my story’s nonsense? Yeah whatever, witch please

[04:26.50] You’ve got funky flying monkeys and apple-throwing trees

[04:29.25] This home wrecker in checkers hits her head then it stops

[04:31.49] Suddenly a bunch of runts start singing about lollipops

[04:34.01] You’re as stupid as the scarecrow with only half of his charm

[04:36.50] This fool forgot these are the dudes that freakin’ lived on her farm

[04:38.99] You’re stressin’ cause you’re messing with a verbal giant sweetie

[04:41.75] Ya want to pick on someone my size?

[04:43.75] Eat me!

[04:44.75] ...