The Real Slim Shady
[00:01.99] May I have your attention, please?
[00:06.00] May I have your attention, please?
[00:08.49] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:11.98] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:16.73] We're gonna have a problem here
[00:17.98] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
[00:19.99] Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
[00:23.23] And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
[00:25.01] They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Agh!)
[00:26.98] It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
[00:29.98] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
[00:32.48] And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots!
[00:34.73] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha!)
[00:36.98] Feminist women love Eminem
[00:38.48] "Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
[00:40.98] Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
[00:43.23] Flippin' the you-know-who, " "Yeah, but he's so cute though."
[00:45.98] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
[00:47.98] But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
[00:50.49] Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
[00:53.00] But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
[00:55.00] "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
[00:57.23] And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
[00:59.73] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
[01:01.98] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
[01:03.97] Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
[01:05.98] By the time they hit fourth grade
[01:06.97] They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
[01:09.01] We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
[01:11.48] Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[01:13.47] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
[01:14.98] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[01:18.01] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
[01:20.27] Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes
[01:22.48] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:24.50] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:27.00] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:29.48] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:31.73] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:33.73] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:36.02] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:38.72] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:40.78] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
[01:43.02] Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
[01:45.73] You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
[01:47.48] Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
[01:50.28] "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
[01:52.23] Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
[01:54.48] So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
[01:56.77] Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
[01:59.23] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
[02:01.52] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
[02:03.98] Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
[02:06.25] "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee."
[02:08.48] I should download her audio on MP3
[02:10.74] And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
[02:12.99] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
[02:14.99] All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
[02:18.04] And there's a million of us just like me
[02:19.74] Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
[02:22.24] Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
[02:24.24] And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
[02:26.73] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:28.99] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:31.24] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:33.73] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:36.25] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:38.23] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:40.72] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:43.01] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:45.23] I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you
[02:47.22] Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
[02:49.98] The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
[02:52.98] And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
[02:55.23] I just get on the mic and spit it
[02:56.73] And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
[02:58.73] Better than 90% of you rappers out can
[03:00.98] Then you wonder: "How can
[03:01.98] Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
[03:03.48] It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30
[03:06.00] I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
[03:08.72] Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
[03:10.49] And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
[03:12.99] And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
[03:15.22] He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
[03:18.01] Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!"
[03:20.48] With his windows down and his system up
[03:22.48] So will the real Shady please stand up
[03:24.48] And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
[03:26.78] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
[03:28.74] And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[03:31.24] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:33.26] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:35.49] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:38.24] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:40.48] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:42.49] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:44.98] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:47.48] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:49.74] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:51.73] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:53.99] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:56.50] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:58.98] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[04:00.98] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[04:03.23] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[04:05.74] Please stand up, please stand up?
[04:08.98] Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
[04:13.48] Fuck it, let's all stand up!
