Levers

[00:40.31] There stands a door that I was yet to consider

[00:46.11] But the locks are all melting and the colors are convincing me

[00:51.83] Words on the gate reading I’ll make this all go away

[00:57.68] Just walk through me to the silence, that’s the music

[01:01.76] In the valley of nothing where everyone started

[01:07.15] Before life erased you and made you not part of it

[01:12.70] Broke off a piece of what was silent, but eternal

[01:17.38] And then trapped in a body we beg to return to it

[01:22.91] Placed in the depths of an ocean, forgetting

[01:27.58] How we belong at the surface but everyone's swimming

[01:32.87] Towards lights at the bottom reflecting on mirrors

[01:38.47] But I could labor no longer and float towards what everyone

[01:43.80] Fears the eternal that's found in the shallows

[01:49.09] But one day they will realize what I have just figured out

[01:54.27] Here, at the bottom, it's cold and it’s sort of merciless

[01:59.13] But the water gets warmer as you float away from it

[02:04.81] On my way to live the greatest

[02:09.78] Life, not have one, or I’ll just stick around

[02:15.65] And see if it gets better

[02:20.55] This decision lasts forever

[02:25.58] Seeing pictures, filled with envy

[02:30.88] Trying to become who I used to be

[02:36.68] It seems so far from likely

[02:41.42] Smiling, he looks nothing like me

[02:46.63] Levers and pulleys and spindles of wire

[02:51.38] My limbs are all frozen and my lungs are on fire

[02:56.59] And here in your arms I feel miles away from you

[03:02.15] Know how it’s strange, but I mean all that I’m saying, oh

[03:07.64] Levers, and pulleys, and spindles of rope

[03:12.12] In that perfect machine that I used to be, something broke

[03:17.47] And then a thought so unnatural that it felt like perfection

[03:22.72] Came and knocked on my door, and in time I just let it in

[03:28.14] Asking me if I had heard of the surface

[03:33.17] Where nothing goes wrong, and where no one can ever hurt you

[03:38.31] And taking my hand it allowed me to breathe

[03:43.17] Said that there’s a way to always feel the way you feel

[03:46.68] When you finally find your way to sleep

[03:48.89] And then it showed me my life

[03:51.33] How it could end, and where it started

[03:54.09] And then it showed me the world but said I'm not a part of it

[03:59.16] But the lonely and the hurting have a place, no one's seen it

[04:04.37] But once I have shown you, you can't ever leave it

[04:09.94] No matter these thoughts, and these words, so inviting

[04:15.09] I can't say goodbye just quite yet I'll keep fighting it

[04:20.63] People who love me would never stop hurting

[04:25.32] From something so simple yet something so permanent

[04:30.64] Gone into the valley where everyone started

[04:35.61] Where smiles are worn by the hopeless and the brokenhearted

[04:41.40] There in the light of the stars dancing quietly

[04:46.78] Spirits at home in the warmth of eternity

[04:51.80] Broken boy who must keep hoping

[04:56.60] Maybe one day he will figure this out

[05:02.89] Or things will heal in time

[05:07.14] This breathing ghost that never died

[05:12.32] These bits and pieces all left over

[05:17.57] From that smiling child I used to be

[05:23.66] I’m cold and terrified

[05:27.88] I know there’s warmth but I can’t find it