Going Through Changes

[00:05.64] I'm going through changes

[00:13.89] I'm going through changes

[00:20.39] Lately, I really

[00:21.64] Feel like I'm rollin' for delf like Philly

[00:24.39] Feel like I'm losin' control of myself, I sincerely

[00:27.14] Apologize if all that I sound like

[00:29.39] Is I'm complainin' but life keeps on complicatin', and

[00:32.39] I'm debatin' on leavin' this world this evenin'

[00:34.39] Even my girls can see I'm grievin', I try and hide it

[00:37.89] But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty

[00:40.14] When inside I'm dyin'? I am finally realizin' I need

[00:43.39] Help, can't do it myself, too weak

[00:45.64] Two weeks I've been havin' ups and downs goin' through peaks

[00:48.89] And valleys, dilly-dallyin' 'round with the idea

[00:51.14] Of endin' this shit right here, I'm hatin' my reflection

[00:55.03] I walk around the house tryna fight mirrors

[00:57.28] I can't stand what I look like, yeah

[00:59.53] I look fat, but what do I care? I give a fuck

[01:02.28] Only thing I fear's Hailie, I'm afraid if I close my eyes

[01:05.53] That I might see her... shit

[01:07.53] I'm going through changes

[01:15.28] I'm going through changes

[01:21.78] I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom, nappin' at noon

[01:25.03] Yeah, Dad's in a bad mood, he's always snappin' at you

[01:27.78] Marshall, what happened that you can't stop with these pills?

[01:30.53] And you've fallen off with your skills and your own fans are laughin' at you

[01:33.28] It become a problem you're too pussy to tackle? Get up

[01:36.28] Be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this shit handled

[01:39.28] Know you just had your heart ripped out and crushed

[01:41.53] They say Proof just flipped out, homie just whipped out and bust

[01:44.28] Nah, it ain't like Doody to do that, he wouldn't fuckin'

[01:47.78] Shoot at nobody, he'd fight first, but dwellin'

[01:50.03] On it only makes the night worse, now I'm poppin' Vics, Percs

[01:53.78] And Methadone pills, "Yeah, Em, tight verse

[01:55.53] You killed it!" Fuckin' drug dealers hang around me like yes men

[01:59.28] And they gon' do whatever I says when I says it

[02:01.78] It's in their best interest to protect their investment

[02:04.78] And I just lost my fuckin' best friend, so fuck it, I guess then—

[02:08.28] (I'm going through changes) Don’t know what I’m gonna do

[02:17.78] (I'm going through changes) But I just keep on going through changes

[02:23.53] My friends can't understand this new me, that's understandable

[02:26.53] Man, but think how bananas you'd be, you'd be an animal too

[02:29.53] If you were trapped in this fame and caged in it like a zoo

[02:32.28] And everybody's lookin' at you, what you want me to do?

[02:35.53] I'm startin' to live like a recluse

[02:37.03] And the truth is, fame's startin' to give me an excuse

[02:39.78] To be at an all-time low; I sit alone in my home theater

[02:43.78] Watchin' the same damn DVD of the

[02:46.28] First tour; the last tour, he was still alive

[02:48.28] And it hurts so I fast forward, sleeping pills'll make me feel alright

[02:51.78] And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night

[02:54.28] I'll just take a couple more, yeah, you're motherfuckin' right

[02:57.03] I ain't slowin' down for no one, I am almost homeward bound

[02:59.78] Almost in a coma, yeah homie, come on, dole 'em out!

[03:02.78] "Daddy, don't you die on me! Daddy, better hold your ground!"

[03:05.53] Fuck, don't I know the sound of that voice? Yeah, baby, hold me down (Daddy!)

[03:10.78] (I'm going through changes) (Daddy!) Don’t know what I’m gonna do

[03:19.03] (I'm going through changes) But I just keep on going through changes

[03:25.28] Wake up in the hospital, full of tubes, but somehow I'm pullin' through

[03:28.53] Swear when I come back I'ma be bulletproof

[03:30.53] I'ma do it just for Proof, I think I should state a few

[03:33.28] Facts, 'cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth

[03:36.03] Shit, it just hit me that what if I would not've made it through?

[03:39.03] I think about the things I would'a never got to say to you

[03:41.53] I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do

[03:44.53] Hailie, this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina too

[03:47.53] I still love your mother, that'll never change

[03:49.28] Think about her every day, we just could never get it together, hey

[03:52.78] Wish there was a better way for me to say it

[03:55.03] But I swear on everything, I'd do anything for her on any day

[03:58.28] There are just too many things to explain, when it rains

[04:01.28] Guess it pours — yes, it does, wish there wasn't any pain

[04:04.03] But I can't pretend there ain't, I ain't placin' any blame

[04:06.78] I ain't pointin' fingers, Heaven knows I've never been a saint

[04:09.53] I know that it feels like we just pissed away our history

[04:12.53] And just today I looked at your picture, almost if to say

[04:15.28] I miss you subconsciously, wish it didn't end this way

[04:18.03] But I just had to get away, don't know why, I don't know what else to say

[04:22.28] I guess I'm—

[04:23.78] (I'm going through changes) Don’t know what I’m gonna do

[04:31.53] (I'm going through changes) But I just keep on going through changes