Canibitch
[00:00.80] (I, I wanna grow up too)
[00:11.30] "Uncle Marshall, will you tell us a bedtime story?"
[00:18.05] Here we go!
[00:19.80] Now, once upon a time not long ago
[00:22.30] There was a little rapper about to blow
[00:24.05] But his album came, and it was not good
[00:26.80] I think it went lead or double copper-wood
[00:28.80] So these silly little fans, they were misled
[00:31.05] By a nerdy Internet computer hip-hop head
[00:33.55] "Me and you, Clef, we're gonna make some cash."
[00:35.55] "Grab this silver paint and just paint my ass."
[00:37.80] Hey, mister, would you care to bear witness to
[00:40.05] The ass-whippin' I'm about to administer
[00:42.29] To this ass-kissin' little vaginal blister?
[00:44.55] Stanibus, little Marshall Mathers' sister
[00:46.80] And in this corner, we have the "Mr
[00:49.04] Not-Havin'-It," it's the Mad, sinister
[00:51.30] Dr. Evil, with his bag of tricks for
[00:53.54] This little antagonistic faggot
[00:55.55] Dick-sucking ex-LL Cool J fan from Windsor
[00:58.05] I'm 'bout to murder little Kenny-Fag-Kaniff-sta
[01:00.29] You bastard, I ain't wanna have to diss ya
[01:02.55] Canibus, where the fuck you at? I miss ya!
[01:04.80] Canibitch, oh, Canibitch
[01:07.04] Wherefore art thou, Canibitch?
[01:09.29] Please tell me what happened with
[01:11.30] That style that you were rappin' with
[01:13.80] Canibitch, oh, Canibitch
[01:16.05] Are you from Los Angeles
[01:18.05] New York, or just a janitor
[01:20.30] From Canada? Oh, Canibitch
[01:22.55] Now, at first, I ain't really understand this shit
[01:24.80] Picture me, for a second, and imagine it
[01:27.05] Chillin' in the Bat Mansion relaxin' when
[01:29.04] All of a sudden some bullshit comes across the scanners, it's
[01:31.80] Canibitch, on some 'Stan Lives' shit
[01:34.05] It creeped me out at first; man, this is sick
[01:36.05] But me, bein' just as sick, this conflict
[01:38.54] Gets my dick harder than arithmetic
[01:40.55] And I know how you jealous ones envy
[01:42.54] I shoulda knew better from the first few letters you sent me
[01:45.05] The first two letters, you were tellin' me shit like
[01:47.44] You respect me, like any other regular MC
[01:49.69] The third letter, you asked how come I ain't return
[01:51.69] None of the messages at Shady Records you left me
[01:54.19] The fourth letter: "Slim, you're really startin' to upset me."
[01:56.19] The fifth letter told me you were comin' to get me
[01:58.44] The sixth letter, there's a bomb threat on our building
[02:00.94] This crazy motherfucker's really tryna kill me
[02:02.94] So I went back and read the first few letters that said
[02:05.69] Some shit about a message you left
[02:07.44] Oh shit! That's not a E, that's an A!
[02:09.44] This dude wants to leave me a 'massage,' he's gay!
[02:11.94] Right away, I'm on the phone with Dr. Dre
[02:13.94] "We got a bogey," "Marshall, I'm on the way."
[02:16.44] Canibitch, oh, Canibitch
[02:18.69] Wherefore art thou, Canibitch?
[02:20.94] Please tell me what happened with
[02:23.19] That style that you were rappin' with
[02:25.44] Canibitch, oh, Canibitch
[02:27.69] Are you from Los Angeles
[02:29.69] New York, or just a janitor
[02:32.19] From Canada? Oh, Canibitch
[02:34.44] So, in two seconds flat, Dre's at my crib
[02:36.69] Only thing is, we both know where this kid lives
[02:38.69] And neither one of us have Canadian citizenship
[02:40.94] "Shit. Oh, Dre, wait a minute, that's it!
[02:43.19] All we gotta do is use a bit of turbo-boost
[02:45.69] We can fly over the border!" "Let's Go!" [whoosh]
[02:47.94] So we're off to Toronto and we're gainin' speed
[02:50.19] "What was that? Oh, Jermaine Dupri."
[02:52.19] "Fuck it," keep goin', no time to waste
[02:54.44] "Wait, back up. Hit him one more time, in case."
[02:56.94] "Okay," fuck, now he's draggin' under the car
[02:58.94] "Oh well, only thirty more thousand miles!"
[03:01.19] Meanwhile, me and Dre are tryna conversate
[03:03.44] Just tryna find a reason for the constant hate
[03:05.69] And tryna figure out what happened to 'Germaine Propane'
[03:07.94] "He couldn't have fell off that hard." Ain't no way!
[03:10.44] What happened to the way you was rappin'
[03:11.69] When you was scandalous?
[03:12.44] That Canibus turned into a television evangelist!
[03:15.19] Plus, he raps with his regular voice
[03:16.94] [Four impacts] "What was that?" "Pet Shop Boys."
[03:19.19] So, we pull up to the bridge where he last was spotted
[03:21.19] His corpse was still movin', but his ass was rotted
[03:23.69] And he kinda smelled a little like Courtney Love
[03:25.94] I figured if I stick him with a fork, he's done
[03:28.19] So I stabbed him twice, kept jabbin'—Christ!
[03:30.19] He won't die! This guy's like a battered wife!
[03:32.69] He's like Kim: he keeps comin' back for more
[03:34.94] But he won't fight back, I cracked his jaw
[03:36.94] Hold up! 'Bis, quit foldin' up!
[03:39.44] Punch me in the chest, make my shoulders touch
[03:41.44] Do something! At least one punchline!
[03:43.94] Come on! 'Til the meter reads Nine! Nine! Nine-
[03:46.69] Ty nine percent of my fans are blond!
[03:48.69] 'Bis, come on, answer me, man, respond!
[03:50.69] Tell me 'bout the sun, rain, moon and stars!
[03:52.94] Intergalactical metaphors from Mars!
[03:55.19] Raw to the floor, raw like Reservoir Dogs!
[03:57.44] Bite another line from Redman's song!
[03:59.69] Suddenly, the stub of a dead man's arm
[04:01.69] From a midget reaches out from under the car
[04:03.94] It's J.D.! This motherfucker won't die, neither!
[04:06.44] Dre starts sprayin' him with cans of ether
[04:08.44] We swamped the bitch in it; stomped the bitch again
[04:10.94] "Compton!" "Detroit, bitch, talk some shit again!"
[04:13.19] "Stomp him!" "Switch feet!" "Stomp him!" "Switch again!"
[04:15.44] "Dre, all right, he's dead, dog, quit kickin' him!
[04:17.69] I think Stanibus jumped off the bridge again!" ("Ahh!")
[04:20.19] "Damn," "He disappeared, yo, he's gone, he did it again!"
[04:22.19] Canibitch, oh, Canibitch
[04:24.44] Wherefore art thou, Canibitch?
[04:26.69] Please tell me what happened with
[04:28.94] That style that you were rappin' with
[04:30.94] Canibitch, oh, Canibitch
[04:33.44] Are you from Los Angeles
[04:35.19] New York, or just a janitor
[04:37.44] From Canada? Oh, Canibitch
