The Real Slim Shady
[00:02.90] May I have your attention, please?
[00:06.14] May I have your attention, please?
[00:08.65] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:12.40] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:16.90] We're gonna have a problem here...
[00:18.14] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
[00:20.15] Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
[00:23.39] And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
[00:24.89] They first were divorced, suin' her over furniture (Agh!)
[00:27.40] It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
[00:29.65] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
[00:32.15] And Dr. Dre said… nothing, you idiots!
[00:34.65] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Ha ha!)
[00:36.90] Feminist women love Eminem
[00:38.40] "Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
[00:40.90] Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
[00:43.40] Flippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though."
[00:45.89] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
[00:48.15] But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
[00:50.40] Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
[00:52.90] But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
[00:55.39] "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
[00:57.15] And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
[00:59.40] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
[01:01.89] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
[01:04.15] Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is
[01:06.40] By the time they hit fourth grade
[01:07.40] They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
[01:08.89] We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
[01:11.90] Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[01:13.39] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
[01:15.65] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[01:18.39] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
[01:20.40] Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes—
[01:22.40] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:24.65] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:26.90] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:29.40] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:31.39] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:33.65] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:36.15] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:38.54] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:40.79] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (Nope)
[01:43.29] Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
[01:45.79] You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
[01:47.29] Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
[01:50.29] "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
[01:52.29] Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
[01:54.54] So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
[01:57.29] Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
[01:59.29] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
[02:01.54] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
[02:03.79] Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
[02:06.04] "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee."
[02:08.54] I should download her audio on MP3
[02:10.54] And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Agh!)
[02:13.04] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
[02:15.04] All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
[02:18.04] And there's a million of us just like me
[02:19.79] Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
[02:22.29] Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
[02:24.29] And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
[02:26.79] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:28.79] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:31.29] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:33.69] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:35.94] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:38.19] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:40.44] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:42.94] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:45.19] I'm like a head trip to listen to, ‘cause I'm only givin' you
[02:47.69] Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
[02:49.94] The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
[02:52.44] And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
[02:54.44] I just get on the mic and spit it
[02:56.69] And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
[02:58.94] Better than 90% of you rappers out can
[03:00.94] Then you wonder: "How can
[03:02.19] Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
[03:03.69] It's funny, ‘cause at the rate, I'm going, when I'm 30
[03:05.69] I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
[03:08.19] Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
[03:10.44] And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
[03:12.94] And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
[03:14.94] He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
[03:17.94] Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!"
[03:20.44] With his windows down and his system up
[03:22.44] So will the real Shady please stand up
[03:24.19] And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
[03:26.44] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
[03:28.94] And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[03:31.19] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:33.19] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:35.44] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:37.94] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:40.19] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:42.44] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:44.69] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:47.19] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:49.44] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:51.69] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:53.94] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:56.44] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:58.69] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[04:00.82] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[04:03.08] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[04:05.57] Please stand up, please stand up?
[04:09.07] Ha ha, I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
[04:14.32] Fuck it, let’s all stand up!
