The Ballad of Hamantha

[00:09.53] (Go away)

[00:23.78] Life's extension lottery

[00:28.02] Kind to some, but not duly

[00:32.53] Born with a rare and sad disease

[00:36.55] She grew— a ham— where her head should be

[00:41.26] Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie

[00:45.28] Meaty face and a lovely eye

[00:49.80] Her dream was to be a famous star

[00:54.02] But at the rate she was goin’, she wasn't going fa-a-ar

[00:58.53] Hamantha, Hamantha

[01:02.54] You were impossible to ignore

[01:07.78] Hamantha, Hamantha

[01:11.78] So greedy we wanted more

[01:29.02] (Oh no!)

[01:34.03] Her father was a simple man (Duh!)

[01:38.29] He wanted to help, "in any way that I can!"

[01:42.79] Home from school, he watched his daughter cry

[01:46.80] In the yard, he cursed God and fired at the sky

[01:51.78] Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie

[01:56.27] Meaty face and a lovely eye

[02:00.53] Her dreams in the sky, her father felt her pain

[02:04.78] And as he shot at the clouds, it began to rain

[02:09.05] Hamantha, Hamantha

[02:13.05] You were impossible to ignore

[02:17.79] Hamantha, Hamantha

[02:22.02] So greedy we wanted more

[02:27.03] Got a call from the doctor

[02:31.78] He had some amazing news for her

[02:36.78] He just developed a cure

[02:41.57] If she hurried over now, he'd try it out on her

[02:47.03] Burst out the door, she was beaming

[02:51.27] Among the raindrops her happy tears were streaming

[02:57.01] Finally freed from her pain

[03:01.28] But something else fell with the rain

[03:06.30] A stray bullet shot by her father

[03:11.54] Aimlessly nested inside her

[03:16.55] She fell to the the sidewalk, now empty

[03:21.53] Of the life which once christened her body

[03:47.04] "Nurse, s-she’s... she's gone."

[03:55.55] "O-oh... oh dear."

[03:56.78] "I left a lunch on the table in the operating room for the bereaved, a cooked ham, as is customary for these... dark situations."

[04:10.03] "U-uh, Doctor, what... which one is the... which... which one is the ham that—?"

[04:17.27] "I-I must... I must go... I must... I must go, I'm on break."

[04:18.57] "Oh dear."

[04:21.79] Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie

[04:25.53] Meaty face and a lovely eye

[04:30.30] At her time of death, the doc said "time to eat!"

[04:33.79] So we took a bite out of her face meat

[04:38.76] Hamantha, Hamantha

[04:43.02] You were impossible to ignore (La-la-la...)

[04:48.01] Hamantha, Hamantha

[04:52.56] So greedy we wanted more

[04:57.05] Soaring infinitely through space

[05:01.55] Hamantha's soul was graced

[05:05.78] With a glance of our humble planet

[05:10.05] At which she was amazed

[05:13.79] The news of her untimely death

[05:18.52] Had spread out near and far

[05:23.28] And through her soul, the truth was whole

[05:27.28] Her dream had crossed the bar

[05:31.80] Hamantha had become a star

[05:36.03] Hamantha was finally a star

[05:40.53] Hamantha had become a star

[05:44.80] Hamantha was finally a star