The Real Slim Shady
[00:02.81] May I have your attention, please?
[00:05.21] May I have your attention, please?
[00:07.96] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:11.70] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
[00:16.71] We're gonna have a problem here
[00:17.71] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
[00:19.96] Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
[00:22.71] And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
[00:24.71] They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Agh!)
[00:26.96] It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
[00:29.45] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
[00:31.96] And Dr. Dre said… nothing, you idiots!
[00:34.46] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha!)
[00:36.71] Feminist women love Eminem
[00:37.96] "Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
[00:40.46] Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
[00:42.96] Flippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though."
[00:45.46] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
[00:47.96] But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
[00:50.21] Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
[00:52.45] But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
[00:54.96] "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
[00:56.96] And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
[00:59.21] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
[01:01.46] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
[01:03.96] Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
[01:05.71] By the time they hit fourth grade
[01:06.71] They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
[01:08.96] We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
[01:11.46] Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[01:13.60] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
[01:15.59] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[01:18.10] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
[01:20.10] Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes—
[01:22.59] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:24.49] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:26.74] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:29.25] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:31.49] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[01:33.74] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[01:35.75] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[01:38.49] Please stand up, please stand up?
[01:40.50] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
[01:42.75] Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
[01:45.49] You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
[01:46.99] Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
[01:49.74] "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
[01:52.00] Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
[01:54.25] So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
[01:56.50] Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
[01:58.75] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
[02:01.25] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
[02:03.24] Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
[02:05.50] "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee."
[02:07.99] I should download her audio on MP3
[02:10.24] And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
[02:13.13] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
[02:14.77] All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
[02:17.77] And there's a million of us just like me
[02:19.52] Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
[02:21.77] Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
[02:24.02] And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
[02:26.78] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:28.78] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:30.77] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:33.52] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:35.78] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[02:37.77] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[02:40.02] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[02:42.78] Please stand up, please stand up?
[02:44.67] I'm like a head trip to listen to, ‘cause I'm only givin' you
[02:47.30] Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
[02:49.81] The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
[02:52.31] And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
[02:54.80] I just get on the mic and spit it
[02:56.30] And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
[02:58.55] Better than 90% of you rappers out can
[03:00.56] Then you wonder: "How can
[03:01.70] Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
[03:03.45] It's funny, ‘cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30
[03:05.71] I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
[03:07.95] Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
[03:10.20] And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
[03:12.45] And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
[03:14.86] He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
[03:17.35] Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!"
[03:20.10] With his windows down and his system up
[03:21.85] So will the real Shady please stand up
[03:23.74] And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
[03:26.15] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
[03:28.65] And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[03:31.14] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:32.90] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:35.15] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:37.90] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:39.90] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:42.15] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:44.40] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:47.14] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:49.15] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[03:51.40] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[03:53.64] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[03:56.15] Please stand up, please stand up?
[03:58.39] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
[04:00.65] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
[04:02.90] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
[04:05.39] Please stand up, please stand up?
[04:08.55] Ha ha, I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
[04:13.31] Fuck it, let’s all stand up!
