Lyrics - Bo Burnham - what-Musical Comedy

[00:02.02] Left Brain, Right Brain

[00:03.27] Song by Bo Burnham

[00:07.27] Hello, patient 24602

[00:09.69] I'm sorry- Hello, how are-

[00:10.93] (How are you feeling?)

[00:11.92] Um, not great

[00:13.42] (Has the treatment been working?)

[00:15.17] Uh, I don't think so, no

[00:16.66] (What are your remaining symptoms?)

[00:18.42] I just, I... I internalize my feelings a lot, I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people, I feel like I jus-

[00:23.42] (So basically, you're still a little bitch)

[00:25.44] Yes, very mature of you, disembodied voice, way up there

[00:28.68] (I was just joking, nigga)

[00:30.42] Alright you're not as safe in Wisconsin as you might think with that shit

[00:33.45] (I'm not human I can say whatever I want)

[00:35.68] Alright just, just what, get to the point! What's wrong with me? Please. Please!

[00:38.93] (Your emotions and your logic are at war)

[00:41.67] Okay

[00:42.91] (Your creativity and your analysis are at war. And most simply, your left

[00:48.15] And right brain are at war)

[00:49.67] My left and my-

[00:50.66] (To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other)

[00:53.90] (Splitting your neurological functions in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...)

[01:00.15] Well, we book an appointment or something? You don't just start counting down to major medical procedures

[01:03.43] (This may hurt a bit)

[01:04.65] I don't even know what "it" is!

[01:05.90] Just tell me what you're-!

[01:20.66] That's your opinion, just careful with opinions

[01:45.67] (Okay boys... Play nice)

[01:49.40] I am the left brain, I am the left brain

[01:51.92] I work really hard 'til my inevitable death brain

[01:54.93] You got a job to do, you better do it right, and the right way is with the left brain's might

[02:00.90] I like Oreo's and pussy, yes! In that order!

[02:06.18] And I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3, WOODY!

[02:11.16] I am the right brain, I have feelings, I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful, trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love, or put my penis in!

[02:23.15] Here comes a female, here comes a female

[02:25.66] Puff your chest out take your phone and check your email

[02:28.90] Our evolutionary purpose is to repopulate

[02:31.65] So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate

[02:34.41] Holy fuck I think she might be the one, there's something about her, I just can't describe it!

[02:44.90] Tits

[02:45.91] I am the earth, she's the glorious sun!

[02:50.16] I want her to trust me and I just want her to, how do I say this, sit on my face? Sit, sit on my face!

[02:57.18] Alright now right brain you're being insane

[02:59.68] No left brain, I'm just being alive

[03:03.40] You should try it, you might like it

[03:08.15] I worked hard to give him everything he cared about

[03:11.16] You were worried 'bout the things that he was scared about

[03:14.16] I'm calm and collected when you act wild

[03:17.15] I am the adult you are the child

[03:19.90] You think you're the right one every time

[03:24.44] You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all

[03:31.40] Half of his problems were supposed to be mine

[03:35.40] But you wanted everything I hope that you're happy 'cause he's sure not

[03:42.18] Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry let me run the numbers again, um, you're a pussy

[03:48.21] Name calling? Really? You're gonna just do name calling?

[03:50.45] I'm not calling names alright, I'm just stating facts, and the fact is you're a quivering pussy

[03:53.70] I'm the pussy? Well at least I don't play with toys still, okay

[03:55.95] Rubix cubes are not toys, they keep my spatial reasoning skills sharp

[03:59.45] Left brain plays with toys! Look at you, mister... You're a toy player

[04:05.20] Well at least I did my fucking job, alright? I kept him working, I kept him productive!

[04:09.70] You were supposed to look after him

[04:11.24] You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable through all this

[04:14.24] Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling!

[04:17.73] If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed him

[04:20.00] You did this to him, he hates you I know he does. He fucking hates you!

[04:32.44] Right brain, look, I'm sorry, okay?

[04:35.44] No you're not...

[04:46.94] Look, maybe there's something that we could do together

[04:52.70] Together?

[04:54.69] Take the best parts of both of us, put them together

[05:03.19] I'm listening

[05:05.94] It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze

[05:11.22] So you could man the themes, I'll man the form

[05:16.19] It's something that George Carlin did, it's something that Steve Martin did

[05:20.94] It's something special that we can both perform, do you know what it is?

[05:26.70] Juggling! We could juggle, and juggle our cares away!

[05:34.70] It was comedy, we could do comedy together...

[05:39.96] Alright right brain, look we're gonna do comedy together, alright? We gotta do comedy!

[05:42.71] Alright, alright left brain I'll do comedy with you

[05:44.46] Look we can fix him like this, we're gonna make him happy again I promise, alright?

[05:47.24] Left brain...! Left brain I love you!

[05:52.71] I know

[05:57.96] Thank you very much